Posts Tagged With: soul

Daddy’s Heartbeat

My friendLeani's daughter Lanelle... Just fits this topic so perfectly.

My friend Leani’s daughter Lanelle… Just fits this topic so perfectly.

Over the weekend in the midst of yet another spiritual attack and manifestation, I felt the need to closer my ears…firstly whatever had appeared in my room had walked pretty loudly…heavy footsteps…once again Satan had me scared, feeling vulnerable and fearful…this hadn’t been his first attack in the last couple of days so I knew what was going on…

For me, I get pretty scared by what I hear and see…I know I’m not supposed to because I am chosen, I am perfect, I am a princess, I  inherit God’s kingdom, I am His daughter, I am HIS… but I still feel a little vulnerable and scared and my Daddy seems to know that…. So this weekend when the devil was trying to attack me once again, God made me close my ears..so I pulled the covers over my ears, I don’t know why but this has always made me feel safe… but I started to close my eyes and ears and tried singing in my head so I could concentrate on something else…the singing wasn’t helping..

But I am blessed to have a Dad, a King who pursues me, His daughter, even when I’m scared and feeling like I’ve failed yet again to be brave… He then told me to focus on Him and listen for Him, using the covers as a safety net and as something to help me block out what was going on around me..helping me to forget about my carnal senses and focus my senses on Him and what can be heard and seen in the Spirit…As I focused on Him and listened for Him, I slowly began hearing a soft murmuring…but not just any kind, rather that of a heartbeat… The more I focused the louder it got until all I could hear is this heartbeat. It was a very calm and relaxed heartbeat which seemed to calm my Spirit and my Soul and body…it calmed my emotions…I felt God tell me that is His heartbeat and that as long as I always remember to focus on Him and His heartbeat, I won’t ever have to feel afraid… I can do it at any time that I am feeling a little less brave or courageous and He will help me through… It was honestly the most precious moment ever… After that I was awake the rest of the night but I felt calm and at peace and scared no longer. A beautiful gift and something I will practice and remember…something I cherish.

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sand, Showers and Soup for the Soul

More than anything, I’m loving being back close to the ocean and the sea sand… Nothing better than that. My skin feels anything but dry, my hair is back to its natural self, curly or not… And I’m loving the salt in the air… Relaxed is not enough to describe how chilled out everything is…

But in my days here, it has been sunny… I have loved not being cold and tried to take advantage of the sun-filled warm days, but deep within me… I have been longing to see some rain… I haven’t seen, felt or smelt rain in months… So today, when I woke up after hanging out with my best mates last night, I was stoked to see the cloudy whether and feel the shift in the wind… Rain was coming… And I was getting excited as the day went on. This evening, the clouds finally broke and the late afternoon/early evening showers hit!!! As soon as it did, I was recording it, outside smelling and enjoying it… I got so excited I was dancing around, my mom thinking I’d gone mad and rushing to make some tea. Yep, I was loving every second of it and appreciating the shower of rain we’d been blessed with.

Then this evening, something I had also waited for all week, was making soup with my dad… Not only because I love his recipe and we’re the only two in the house who would dare eat this soup, but also because it is truly good for the soul. It meant some good bonding time and talking about deep heart issues. My dad doesn’t have to say much, but we feel each other in the spirit so making soup together means intense spiritual talk between our souls without even having to use words. It’s kinda our little secret. In this time, I usually get to also just appreciate having a dad and also his character and just everything about him. I get to make memories, remembering smells, jokes, sounds, just everything around me in those moments with him. Not knowing when we might see each other again, I’ve got to use each moment to the fullest.

So yeah, an evening filled with sand, salt, showers of rain, soup and soul-filled moments… A lot to be thankful for 🙂

loving the sand, salt, sun - being home by the ocean

loving the sand, salt, sun – being home by the ocean

my hair done by my sister before I joined my dad to make soup

my hair done by my sister before I joined my dad to make soup

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Health, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Looking after Our Souls

644722_4478619680481_1720799057_nMy friend Riamien – what a fantastic friend. She truly was an inspiration to all of us and she will not be forgotten. My beautiful friend who struggled with lung cancer, passed away yesterday, after suffering and being in extreme pain these past few weeks, and then still picking up an infection. Luckily, Jesus really loves us, He comforts us and makes things okay when they seem not to be.

He blessed me with a beautiful friendship with her. I only got to know her after she was diagnosed but man, she had such a beautiful soul. Even in her darkest of hours, when she was in extreme pain and we spoke, even then, although she was struggling, there was so much light and love that came from her.

Yesterday, my parents left after a weekend of having them here in the city. It really was good to see them as well as all the other family. I got to see my mom’s aunt turn 70. I played with the most amazing young kids. I ate and laughed with family. I was able to be kept updated of a friend’s wedding far away by two other very good friends. And yesterday, after spending a weekend with family, I got to spend most of my day and evening last night, with a very close spiritual brother whom I talked about earlier. Jean, who returned from Thailand. His brother, also joined us at the driving range later the afternoon. I was very blessed by these two. Especially, when the news came through of my cherished friend’s death. At that time, we had stopped to get take-away coffee and had headed to our university sport’s fields, to drink our coffee and watch God make thunder and lightning and bring on the rain.

Hearing the news and having been with such good people, God really took care of my soul. He also speaks to me when there is wind and thunder and rain and that was all around last night. So between that and friends, I was being smothered in God’s love and comforted by Him and His grace. After the crying, we sat and watched more of the thunder & lightning, as well as listened to some beautiful songs, one being “Let it Rain”. Through the wind I could feel His love wrap itself around me, and while Jean prayed before we got in the car…for Angels to come, I was able to see angels come. God was there and it was amazing. Yesterday was a beautiful day, despite the loss of my friend. Although I experienced outrage and anger and disappointment towards God, despite all that, Jesus still came & covered me with grace and comfort and love, He overwhelmed me with it and still told me how worthy I am. He truly is a loving Father and He truly blessed me with this weekend, with all that happened and all the people He put there. So thanks to those beautiful people too. God really is taking care of my soul.

And as God takes care of my soul, I pray He will take care of all my precious family and friend’s souls as well as my dear friend’s family in this time.

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Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#mysoulishappy

Received more good news this morning! From my amazing friend, Emma, who lives in Mozambique. She is super keen to have me in June/July, so basically – I’M GOING TO MOZAMBIQUE!!! Yay!

The adventure awaits! And truly #mysoulishappy

Thanks Em xx

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Time of Reflection for a Happy Spirit & Soul

Pretoria-20130320-00613 - Copy (2)Over the past weekend I went on a camp with my cell group (Bible Study group) and I came to the realization that I am slowly burning out. I’m always busy and trying to help someone , always running around trying to save the world, as if it would fall apart without me. But over the weekend I could feel God telling me it is time to take a few months, chill out, find the balance, be a little selfish and take time to focus on myself. It’s time for that internal reflection and a bit of ‘me’ time in His Presence. I was also told that by Mona and a few other friends who know me really well.

I keep getting this picture of being in Mozambique, by the waters, just chilling out in God’s amazing presence. And somehow Mozambique has come up a lot. So I am in the process of organising to stay there for a month with a friend, while I take in new scenery, new people and get away from all I know. So I am very excited.

On the note of taking it chilled and some time out, to reflect deeper in myself, our Easter holidays at varsity has started today. And basically my week became super chilled on Tuesday already. I got some time to see and hang out with Heinrich, who was here from Bloemfontein, with his mom and sister who had to be at the hospital. We went to Menlyn Mall, and had supper there. It was so good to chill and get out, doing a little catch up with a special friend and not have to rush off anywhere or whatever. I just loved the evening, and was told by him Mozambique would be a good idea, but I shouldn’t work while I’m there. I should just chill out. Anyway, it left me feeling extremely happy the next day. That I really am blessed with amazing people in my life. It was the first chill out, catch up session that I could just be…enjoy it without having to solve problems or it being completely about church or my studies, something I haven’t had in ages.

Then, yesterday, one of my really good spiritual brothers, sent me a message, saying we need to go for coffee. I was out of my skin, with excitement!!!! Jean had returned from being in Thailand for a year, two weeks ago – so I’m sure you could understand why I was excited. In that, I must add, God’s timing is perfect!!!! I soooo needed a coffee date with him, although I need to chill out, his conversations are often very spiritual, but soooo very chilled. And God really speaks to him, so when he asks me questions, it usually is what I’m thinking and asking God deep within me, and usually stuff God wants to bring up. But it isn’t all spiritual talk, it was chilled conversation too with lots of laughter. When I’m with him, I usually just am chilled. It’s like my spirit and soul just chill out and feel at home. Although he has done stuff in the past that I don’t agree with, since the first time I got to know him, we have had an incredible spiritual connection and he truly is a crazy cool spiritual brother to have.

He came to pick me up last night, and probably got the biggest hug ever when I saw him!!!! I actually feel tears when I think back to last night, I’m just in such a calm, happy place because of seeing him.  When I got into the car, after a few minutes of driving, he said to me, ‘God really loves you a lot, you know that?’ I thanked him but then he went on, ‘no, really, I can literally feel it. Being in your presence, in this car, I can feel how much God loves you.’ He was the second person in a matter of two days who had said this to me. When we got out the car, at the restaurant, he called me a name, someone else usually calls me – the same person, who had said the same thing about God loving me earlier that week. It was super weird, but I was loving it. It was good to connect with someone who understands and knows you so well, that it almost feels like they haven’t been gone for a year in a place halfway around the world! Later on in the evening, at the table, he was sitting smiling and smoking his cigarette, and I asked him what he was thinking, since he had such a huge grin on his face. His reply was just, ‘nah, it’s just this. This is really nice.’ I didn’t understand what he meant, so between my smile and frown he explained ‘In Thailand I was alert to the Holy Spirit and constantly tuned in, but I was tuned in to Spiritual Warfare and always ready to pick up on something that was wrong. But now, being in your presence and feeling how much God loves you. It is just awesome, to be picking up what is right and beautiful. I’ve missed this. Being able to chill with another person in the body of Christ.’ Anyway, so the rest of the night we discussed really serious topics and some really light ones, laughed a lot and also just chilled out.

So by the end of the night, my spirit and soul felt super mellow and happy! And this morning I still feel that. I feel so calm and mellow, and so incredibly happy. A feeling I haven’t felt since beginning February, where even there, I only felt it once or twice between utter chaos. So I’m loving every moment of this feeling and can’t wait for the rest of this time of reflection. My parents arrive today, then it’s a weekend on the farm in Potch, then a chilled week and for Easter I have the options of chilling out in Pretoria, or going to our farm in the Karoo or going to Onrus, in the Western Cape. So this really is a hopeful awesome time. And God is just blessing me so much and showering me with immense amounts of love. I truly feel blessed and am so thankful!!

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Health, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Feeling in my soul

This is how my soul has been feeling all year and now more than ever. This is what I feel God whispering into my ear and into my heart…I feel this to my very core…

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