Hope with Promise

After all I experienced last year, all the death and pain and loss, all the discomfort and hurt and disappointment, I can honestly say, I still haven’t learnt how to completely deal with it. I thought I had, but I have been truly humbled by losing Riamien, as I saw how much I still needed to learn about processing the disappointment and hurt and loss. I saw it in the shock I felt when I heard the news, then the sudden anger & disappointment I felt towards God…all the crying I did and shouting and babbling between tears that my friend Jean, at that moment – had to deal with…luckily he was very understanding and patient and handled me with such love and grace. He didn’t give me answers and he sat and prayed with me, speaking only when God allowed him and I am so blessed and thankful for that. He truly is an amazing spiritual brother.

At about 12pm that evening I was still awake and Doug heard the news, and sent me a sermon by Bill Johnson that speaks exactly about this loss and how we deal with it. Doug and a few others had me travel down to meet them at the coast last year when I had also suffered another loss, so I think he just knew this was needed. Bill Johnson speaks in this sermon about a few things but especially about learning to process disappointment & how to walk through & navigate when things don’t turn out how expected or prayed for or whatever it may be. I truly believe, in every part of my spirit and soul, that this is something we need to learn to do otherwise many things in our life will be out of balance.

Learning to process disappointment & how to walk through & navigate when things don’t turn out how expected, may be one of the most difficult lessons to learn. It is something which may have to be repeated every time you go through a disappointment, so that you learn to apply and understand the concept but it is of great value. We need to learn to minister to ourselves and know how to navigate this disappointment to be able to fully step into what God has intended for us, to step fully into our calling.

We cannot be trusted with the fulfilment of promise until we know how to trust God when things don’t look so good. Therefore we need to trust in Him.

We need to trust the Lord with all our heart, leaning not on our own understanding, but acknowledging Him in all our ways so that He may direct our paths. (Paraphrased from Proverbs 3v5&6).

The word Yedah is translated from the Hebrew as “acknowledge” about only once in Bible.. the rest of the time it speaks of “to know”. So put that in the place of “acknowledge” and you’ll have:

Trust the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways – KNOW (acknowledge) Him, and He will direct your paths.(Proverbs 3v5&6)

We need to trust Him in everything. Trust Him with everything. Take all the stuff that seem or are hard to navigate or process and make them easy to navigate or process – in all our ways KNOW HIM.

And He prepares a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. (Psalm 23v5)

This verse tells of the table God prepares for us in the presence of our enemies, in front of the devil. It is a place of intimacy, intimate gathering, a place of closeness and refuge. We need to find that place, in the midst of disappointment, in the midst of all the chaos, despite what we feel at that moment – find that place of communion and then He will help us navigate.

It is like finding the eye of the tornado. It is the place where it is most peaceful. Drawing closer to God, drawing near to Him and KNOWing Him in all things and all ways.

In times of difficulty, actually so many times, we throw in the towel and say that ‘this isn’t what we signed up for.’ In a moment of great tragedy or loss or some disappointment, we give up. We get angry, we get sad – which is normal and is probably okay in trying to come to terms with whatever has happened, but when we make that decision that this is not what we signed up for then we are wrong, because we did. We did when we said ‘yes’ to the Lord, when we accepted Him.

God has such a profound ability to redeem any terrible or horrific situation that many people including those in churches will assume the conclusion that God designed that terrible/horrific situation and to just assume that is wrong. Often, I have made the mistake of thinking that and assuming such nonsense and falling into the devil’s trap. This is where we need to understand the difference between what God approves, what He ordains and what the enemy means for evil.

Death, loss, destruction – those are Satan’s fingerprints, they are NOT God’s. (This is something Jean and many others have told me over and over, but something I quickly seem to forget…)

Bill asks and says the following and I love how he puts it and I totally agree:

Q: Can God use disease?

A: Of course He can. He is able to shift things to use to His advantage. But we would never think God led someone into sin but the church often says He leads people into disease to make them stronger. This is not true. God would no more lead someone into sickness/disease than He would lead them into sin.

If we look at drug addicts who get free from drugs, we will see that they usually end up ministering to other drug addicts with great authority. When truly free, they walk with authority in that area and God uses them to set others free. That applies to many situations.

God’s ability is so profound in His capability of taking a fallen person and raising them up and giving them authority in the area that they fell in, that those who haven’t yet come to Christ can easily make the mistake of thinking that God is leading them into sin so that He could use their sin for something better.

But we know that is not true.

If we understand the concept of grace correctly then we should naturally come to that conclusion (that God does not lead us into sin). Paul deals with that exact question in Romans asking ‘so should we sin so we can see grace abound?’

But in this question, he just outlines the fact that God’s grace is more than enough and answers the question by saying, ‘no, absolutely not.’

The point being that God would never lead you into any horrific sin so that later in life He could use you to promote the Gospel. And as that is true, He would never afflict anyone into disease so that they or their family would be a better family or whatever the reason we may think.

May God, the source of hope, fill you with joy and peace through your faith in Him. Then you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15v13)

Faith will bring answers but not all the answers and that is why there is something like enduring faith. If faith brought all the answers, you wouldn’t need enduring faith. So faith brings answers, but enduring faith brings answers with character.

There is a great privilege in seeing God touch people’s lives. That is stated and made clear in the book of Acts, as miracles and breakthrough is seen. The power of God is displayed in miracles and then also displayed in endurance.

Bill Johnson talks about Steven, in the Bible. What a great servant he was – to have served Jesus, the Great Deliverer, until the very day of his martyrdom, when the Great Deliverer did not deliver him. It just shows the great honour there is, in standing in the midst of mystery when there hasn’t been a breakthrough and to still have that ‘yes to the Lord’ in your heart. There is just something so special about keeping the resolve when things didn’t work out as you thought. Keeping the trust in the One Most Trustworthy is the great privilege of the Christian life.

Falling into the hands of the Living God is a terrifying thing. (Hebrews 10v31)

To have God in control can often be a scary thought. Giving all control up and knowing it is all in His hands is scary, especially in the situation of a loved one who is sick or something that means a lot to you. But it can also be a very wonderful thing. Waiting on Him to make the decisions is an amazing thing, because delayed answers gain interest. And wherever God says no – it is because He has a better ‘yes’ to follow.

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. (Hebrews 10v32-36)

The power of God on our life is to demonstrate the Kingdom. It is to demonstrate the delivering, redeeming power of Jesus, but there are times that this doesn’t seem to work or to happen. And it is then, that the power lies in the ability to remain ‘yes’ before the Lord when our circumstances seem to deny what we thought would happen. There is power in the miracles but there is also power in the endurance.

Referring back to Psalm 23v5 – In the celebration He makes the devil watch. Every time we say we love Jesus, it is like He plays it over the devil’s intercom so that he hears it.

So whether we get a promotion at work, do well in a test or a loved one dies – in all your ways KNOW HIM. Take a moment to feast on the One THAT IS more than enough. When you do that, the disease that comes from disappointment cannot and will not devour the heart.

We need to learn to do that. Many times, I myself or others, put all the weight of our/their walk with God on an answer we think should happen. No matter how Biblically sound it appears to be – the weight of God’s entire character rests on one particular breakthrough. And to do this, I’ve realized and have been told too, is so ridiculous and so extremely dangerous! To put our whole walk with Christ, everything we’ve experienced with Him; His call – when He called us by name, called us to relationship with Him and we said ‘yes’ and repentance came and we believed in His name and we were born-again; to put all that into question if we don’t become or get what we thought we should – is dangerous. It is absolutely foolish because that is exactly what the enemy wants. He wants us to constantly put everything in a corner with no understanding of it.

The question then is that although I believe in miracles, what if I never saw one for the rest of my life? What would I do?

Bill says – Even if he never saw one for the rest of his life, he’d already seen too much to change how he lives. He can’t put the weight of how he’s going to live on just one more prophetic word, just one more miracle or one more encounter. He’s already seen enough.

And that’s how we need to see this.

God has called us to fight for breakthrough for His glory, but when things don’t work out, there are probably things that are wrapped around these problems that we do not know how to dismantle. But He is giving us insight and maturing us. The formulae that we have for breakthrough to happen should be destroyed. Because it isn’t a formula, it is a relationship with this Being where He breathes life into us, every moment, day by day. And we need to take these losses as painful as they are – or as tragic as they are – and they need to drive us into that secret place with the Lord where we say ‘God you’ve gotta increase the anointing, increase our understanding where it’s needed so that these things that are wrapped around these problems, that have not yet yielded to the name Jesus – show me what I can do?’

Whenever there’s a loss or disappointment – being able to stand with an absolute ‘yes’ to God, is where strength is discovered.

Anyone who has gone through a loss or is dealing with it right now will be able to testify to not being particularly strong right now, as they are all depleted of strength, drained from emotion. But that’s where God says His strength is perfected in weakness (refer to 2 Corinthians 12v9 or Philippians4v13 or Nehemiah8v10).

Anytime there is someone depleted of all the strength they can muster up, yet they’ve retained their ‘yes’ to God – that is some of the most profound strength that exists on this planet. It’s the ‘yes’ in the midst of no ability to pull ourselves up by the boot straps…it’s that ‘yes’.  That trusting with all your heart. Faith brings answers. Enduring faith brings answers. And then there is Romans 8v28:

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God – those whom He has called according to His purpose.

That promise isn’t even necessary if there are things that don’t make it past faith and past enduring faith.

We cannot lose trust in the One who is perfectly good. We need to realise that there are things we do not understand and if for some reason it seems to appear that there was a NO – that there’s a better YES coming and when we realize that, it turns our hearts to that hope and promise.

It’s not endurance – it is hope with promise.

All things work together for good. That is for all the things that get past faith and enduring faith. It’s the confidence that God is able to use the worst of situations for His glory. And in eternity you’ll look back at all the things you questioned and say ‘AMEN.’

Funerals put us in touch with eternity. This life is a mere breath, a shadow. Eternity is a substance and that’s what we’re living for. Anytime we lose sight of that, eternity is what keeps us and our morals sound. It’s like athletes who train for 4 years to run a 10 second race. It is basically just a moment. We live, for however long it is, for that one moment…To hear, ‘Well done.’ Everything is for that ONE moment.

So all I know now, is that I have gotta get back to that table. That table that God has put there, and although I may be surrounded by my enemy – he’s the one that is powerless as I draw near to feast on the One who is perfectly faithful.

The prayer that Bill Johnson left me with is as follows:

“That God would raise up a generation of champions that hold the resolve of a profound ‘yes’ regardless of circumstances, yet a people that grow in anointing and wisdom to unravel the things that surround disease, affliction and torment. That there would be an increase of breakthrough anointing, that there would be an unusual grace & ability to find the table that has been set in the midst of enemies, in the midst of confusing situations and to be able to feast. I also thank Him for making the devil watch our relationship which increasingly grows. I bless the Lord. Amen.”

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1v17)

Riamien se Voetspoore

“Al is ek soms teleurgesteld oor wat Hy als oor my pad stuur, sal ek altyd Sy kind bly en lief wees vir Hom. Ek’t al te veel Hom in my lewe ervaar om te se dat Hy nie bestaan nie. So darem weet ek my plek ini Hemel is gereserveer. En alhoewel ek nou al soontoe sal wil gaan, weet ek my werk hier op aarde is dalk nog nie voltooi nie!”

“Waar vertroue is, is liefde. Waar liefde is, is vrede. Waar vrede is, is God. En waar God is, is niks anders nodig nie.”

“Wanneer jy tot die einde van jouself kom, vind jy die begin van Jesus.”

“God se liefde is ons grootste wapen. Jy sal nooit meer as dit nodig he nie. Jy hoef net ander lief te he – Jesus sal die res van die werk self doen.”

“Al wat aan die einde saak maak is die liefde binne jou en jou liefde vir God. Hy is deel van elkeen van ons. So, as jy iemand lief he, het jy Hom lief. Wanneer jy die mens langs jou lief he en jy se dit vir daardie persoon, dan se en doen jy dit vir God.”

Al hierdie woorde het ek al van Riamien gehoor. Sy’t oor en oor gepraat van liefde en God dien en my hartsake uitgepraat. Sy was net ‘n blessing.

Ek’t self ‘n briefie gevind, ek’t elke daggie probeer vir haar ‘n briefie skryf terwyl sy besig was met Chemo sessies en so aan. Daar was een week die jaar, wat vreeslik aaklig vir haar was. En sy het net uit teater gekom na die operasie en wou met niemand gesels nie. Toe skryf ek vir haar die volgende:

Riamien,

Vriendin, ek skryf vanaand ‘n briefie. Jy’s uit teater uit en jy se die operasie het goed gegaan, maar jy wil met niemand gesels nie. 

Ek sal nooit werklik  weet hoe moeilik dinge is of hoe jou hartjie voel nie, so ek sou jok as ek gese het ek doen. 

Maar vanaand,  hou ek jou handjie vas in die gees. Tussen die donkerte, die stilte van die nag, tussen ‘n paar honderd kilometers..dink ek aan jou en wens mens kon dit makliker maak, die pyn verlig. Maar in daai stiltes en donkerte het mens nie woorde nodig nie.

Mens luister na die geluide van die nag, die beep van die masjien, die klop  van mens se hart of net die diepte van net asem haal…

Ek het nie veel om te se nie. Dog maar net ek laat weet, ek dink aan jou. Ekt nie woorde om dit beter te maak nie, maar ek het ‘n oor wat kan luister, ‘n hand wat styf vasgedruk kan word, ‘n kussing vir kwaai wees en slaan, ‘ skouer vir die huil en ‘n maag vir lekker saam lag…

Ek skryf vanaand ‘n briefie want die kosbaarste geskenk wat God vir my kon gee tussen als wat gebeur, is jy.

Baie lief vir jou maatjie

xx Michelle

Ek gaan my vriendin baie mis maar ek weet Sy is by Pappa en dat Hy haar nou styf vashou. Vandag wil ek haar net opdra aan God, en haar neerle by Sy voete, by die kruis en dat Hy deur haar lewe mag spreek en als gebruik vir Sy glorie. Dat ons altyd sal onthou hoe lief Hy het en hoe kosbaar ons verhouding met Hom en mense is. Mag haar lewe net Sy voetspoore agterlaat…

 

Looking after Our Souls

My friend Riamien – what a fantastic friend. She truly was an inspiration to all of us and she will not be forgotten. My beautiful friend who struggled with lung cancer, passed away yesterday, after suffering and being in extreme pain these past few weeks, and then still picking up an infection. Luckily, Jesus really loves us, He comforts us and makes things okay when they seem not to be.

He blessed me with a beautiful friendship with her. I only got to know her after she was diagnosed but man, she had such a beautiful soul. Even in her darkest of hours, when she was in extreme pain and we spoke, even then, although she was struggling, there was so much light and love that came from her.

Yesterday, my parents left after a weekend of having them here in the city. It really was good to see them as well as all the other family. I got to see my mom’s aunt turn 70. I played with the most amazing young kids. I ate and laughed with family. I was able to be kept updated of a friend’s wedding far away by two other very good friends. And yesterday, after spending a weekend with family, I got to spend most of my day and evening last night, with a very close spiritual brother whom I talked about earlier. Jean, who returned from Thailand. His brother, also joined us at the driving range later the afternoon. I was very blessed by these two. Especially, when the news came through of my cherished friend’s death. At that time, we had stopped to get take-away coffee and had headed to our university sport’s fields, to drink our coffee and watch God make thunder and lightning and bring on the rain.

Hearing the news and having been with such good people, God really took care of my soul. He also speaks to me when there is wind and thunder and rain and that was all around last night. So between that and friends, I was being smothered in God’s love and comforted by Him and His grace. After the crying, we sat and watched more of the thunder & lightning, as well as listened to some beautiful songs, one being “Let it Rain”. Through the wind I could feel His love wrap itself around me, and while Jean prayed before we got in the car…for Angels to come, I was able to see angels come. God was there and it was amazing. Yesterday was a beautiful day, despite the loss of my friend. Although I experienced outrage and anger and disappointment towards God, despite all that, Jesus still came & covered me with grace and comfort and love, He overwhelmed me with it and still told me how worthy I am. He truly is a loving Father and He truly blessed me with this weekend, with all that happened and all the people He put there. So thanks to those beautiful people too. God really is taking care of my soul.

And as God takes care of my soul, I pray He will take care of all my precious family and friend’s souls as well as my dear friend’s family in this time.

 

Amazed

It amazes me how God works and how He knows each and every single person’s heart. Today was just a hot summer day but also an important one. Wihann was to go in for his first radiation treatment, Ben was to go for his tests & hear whether or not he is clean of cancer. Yesterday Riamien went in for her tests to hear if she is cancer free and earlier this week, Bernhard’s dad was critically in ICU with his cancer. Now the weather has turned to rain and I know God is here as I reflect on His amazing work. I can literally feel Him, His Presence and His Power.

Each time I have prayed & written to God in my journal, it has astounded me how every time I have, the verse at the bottom of the page has been one that correlates to whatever I was praying about.

As I prayed for Bernhard’s dad & that his condtion will improve the following verse was on the page – John 14v27: Peace I leave with you, My peace I give you.  I was so at peace after that and the next day I got news from Bernhard, that God had worked and his father was no longer critical and his condition seemed to be improving.

I was praying about finances not working out & that I was worried & I don’t know how I would do a trip God had put on my heart because of money being so tight. The verse on that page was – Psalm 31v15: My times are in Your Hands, Lord. Again, I was reminded to trust God. Later that day though, a lady sent me a verse that put me at peace and reminded me that God will take care of it all and that I shouldn’t worry as He has freed me from any bondage or anything weighing me down. It was – Leviticus 26v13: I am the Lord, your God. I bought you out of Egypt so that you are no longer slaves. I have broken their power over you and made you live as free people.

Riamien also asked that we pray for her as she goes for her scans & tests. I was praying for her & Emma – who had an exam the same day, the verse was – Philippians 4v13: I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.  They both did very well. Emma’s exam went well & we are still waiting to hear what the results were for Riamien.

Then this morning, I lifted up Wihann & Ben in prayer. The verses that were on the pages this time were – Jude 2: Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance & Psalm 46v10: Be still, and know that I am God. This afternoon I heard from Tanja (Ben’s girlfriend) that the test results came back & Ben is clean & cancer free 🙂 I think I nearly cried when I heard the good news..I probably did. I prayed and thanked God for what He had done & for being with Ben & Wihann today and the verse was: James 1v17 – Every good and perfect gift is from above (God). Again I was just amazed by Him.

Not only when I lifted up these people, but also as I prayed about this trip that God has put on my heart, another verse came up and that was: Matthew 6v21 – Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Such a beautiful verse. It amazes me how God works & how much of His love I get to experience for each person as I pray for them. He loves us all so much, too much to describe or even realize. But the bit that I do realize, just leaves me AMAZED.

Where there is trust, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace. there is God. And where God is, nothing else is needed. – Riamien

CANSA TLC training

I never liked blood or in any sense wanted to become a doctor. Maybe nursing but my fear of blood and needles has just been to intense. In that sense, I think I can often relate to kids because of those fears. At a very young age I experienced having a lumber punch, and have had quite a few since then. For kids, this can be an extremely traumatic experience, especially being held down so that they can do this.

Recently, as many would know, I have had to experience and come into contact with many people having cancer. Riamien, who has finished Chemo, Ben and Wihann, as well as Bernhard’s dad. I’ve seen some come through it but also lost quite a few to cancer. But of late, after visiting Bernhard’s dad, I have experienced a great sense of compassion for people with cancer. I’ve experienced God’s feelings towards these people, or at least a sense of it, and especially that I really want to work with the kids living with cancer. God has always put it on my heart to work with kids and their families but never did I know when and where. These past two days, I was given the opportunity to visit CANSA TLC – Nicus Lodge near Steve Biko, where I got to go inside and see what some of it looks like and then go for training on how to work with Cancer patients and their families. During as well as after hearing all the stories and how you work with them and what they go through I have really felt this is what I would like to do part time and potentially full time.

After hearing what they go through, especially the kids, I could relate in the sense of needles, lumbar punches, being sick and scared and facing possible death. But also this week we have been doing Dollar a Day, and being so low on energy, not being able to concentrate and process things, not being able to remember things and being extremely emotional and tired physically and emotionally has made me so much more aware of what Cancer patients go through. They obviously experience it a lot more and more intensely, but with Chemo and treatments this is how they end up feeling. It really has given me a new understanding for those who live in Africa, on the street but also for these Cancer patients and what their families also have to deal with and is not easy. Going through these things and being up and down is really hard. I have become a lot more sensitive to these things the last couple of weeks, as well as our words and actions towards people.

So, I am extremely excited to work with the kids at CANSA TLC soon if possible. The training was so helpful and I would recommend it for everyone, pastors and their congregations, schools, faculties at University, as well as people who have or come into contact with Cancer or any other terminal illness. It gives you great understanding and can be extremely useful.

City Life & its Blessings

Wow! Been back in the city for a few days and already I am missing the waves, the coast, the peace & absolute NO RUSH!!! Everything that has been happening since I’ve been back in Pretoria has left me a little tired & like I had no holiday at all!!! But being at the coast did get me back into a few great habits – like making time to spend with God(no leaving the house without chilling with Him first), healthy eating & getting back into some exercise routine!

A few really cool things have also happened! Apart from 7’s rugby training tonight which is also gonna kill me, I’ve had some very good news. A few posts ago I asked that we pray for 4 women – my mom, Riamien, Liz & Elicia. Of those 4 – I’ve heard great news from 2 of them, Liz & Riamien. Liz has started to recover after surgery, she is slowly getting back her strength & is now walking. She has even darkened her hair & cut a fringe(*bangs – for my American friends). It is a slow journey but I’m so happy to have her back at varsity, smiling & alive as we really didn’t know if she would make it at one point! Riamien went for her scan last Wednesday(exactly a week ago), we had all prayed for her the previous evening at a prayer meeting. The results came back earlier this week & were super positive.  Some of the stuff in her lungs that were 7cm have shrunken to the crazy size of 2cm & may not even be of any danger to her. She has 3 chemo sessions left that she will be getting next week! So praise the Lord for His amazing work!!! Such great news & blessings – to God be the glory!!!

I must admit though I did miss my housemates! Ani & I are exercising together daily & trying to support each other & motivate each other with the healthy eating! I really have missed talking to her & all the funny expressions she has. We have been busy turning our one room into a guest room, which we will finish tomorrow (as that is when our guests Mark – a former housemate & his wife Laura) & then the other, Ani & I are turning into a prayer room. We’re down to 5 girls in our house & 3 guys, with 2 more guys – Jason & Thomas moving in next week! Good friends of mine, Chris & Mona have moved to the city too now, from the coast & Chris is the new pastor at one of the churches in Doornkloof. So happy to have them closer, will be visiting there a lot. He preached on Sunday for the first time, Sunday morning & evening – I went to both services & it seems like they’re settling in very well. We’ll be having a kinda housewarming this Friday #braaitime

Other cool news I received over the weekend was from my friend Scotty!!! What a champion…. So this crazy child is going to Australia soon. He knows how keen I am on going and stuff and has offered to sponsor me a ticket!!! So Australia will be seeing me sooooooon!!! Whoop!!! Beyond keen #soexcited&blessed

Ohhhhhhh and some news – out of the city & more coastal vibes(I know this is supposed to be a city update but I just have to share). Bethany Hamilton has been awarded the wildcard, she is paddling out alongside Laurie Towner (Australia) and local surfers Mustofa Jeksen (Kuta) and Made Lana (Uluwatu) at the Rip Curl Cup 2012 at Padang Padang in Indonesia!!! She will be the first-ever woman to compete in the Rip Curl Cup which is currently taking place until the 26th August! So let’s hold thumbs that she’ll be catching some great waves as those can be quite a challenge!!!

Anyway that was just a little update! God is good & great & He does answer prayers!

Have a great blessed week

Xx

M

4 Hopeful Women

Bad things happen to everyone. I don’t know why and I guess we’ll never be able to explain it. But I do believe good can come from every bad thing and I always have a hope that we can learn from it all and through it all, glorify Jesus. We definitely have the choice to and I personally believe, that if bad things didn’t happen, then we wouldn’t learn compassion. We don’t really know compassion until we ourselves have gone through trials. But in all the bad, I do believe that through prayer, God will heal and when He doesn’t, I know He has a plan with that too.

In my life many have died and that is hard to deal with, but I want to celebrate those who still live and I want to cherish them and learn as much from them and their stories as possible. I have 4 women on my heart today, whom I really want to lift up, celebrate and also lift up in prayer. They are amazing women, with incredible strength, love and perseverance and whom I’ve learn’t so much from.

Elicia, Riamien, Elizabeth and then my mom.

Elicia, I got to know last year by working on Tuks Missions Committee with her and we have been incredibly close friends ever since. She has Marfan Syndrome, a disorder of connective tissue, the tissue that strengthens the body’s structures. This disorder of connective tissue can affect the skeletal system, cardiovascular system, eyes, and skin. It also causes overgrowth, mainly in the long bones. So arms and leg and fingers often grow very long and thin. Because of this disorder, she is unable to do physical sport or anything as she needs to gain a lot more muscle before she can do that and as far as I know, this incredibly beautiful friend of mine also has some problems with her heart.

Riamien, I got to know this year, by a friend whom studies with me. Francois started a prayer group for her and I felt God truly wanted me to get to know her and just support her. I have got to know her by sms, her status updates on bbm and facebook and by the messages people have sent her. She has lung cancer. There isn’t much I need to explain as I am sure you have heard of it. I remember from when I was in primary school, a close family friend who passed away from it. We went to visit her often and I remember her last days and they were horrible. But Riamien, has shown incredible positivism and a belief of getting well again. She really has taught me a lot.

Elizabeth, whom has been studying with me for 3 years now and has been an amazing friend when I haven’t even been worth the name ‘friend’ has suffered many illnesses but the the worst so far has her in bed and recovering for more than a month. She went for an operation and the doctor found stage 1 Ensometriosis for a second time. Since her operation in May, she has been in for a few operations again, they thought she had internal bleeding. We now know she has been suffering from Peritonitis, which is an inflammation (irritation) of the peritoneum, the thin tissue that lines the inner wall of the abdomen and covers most of the abdominal organs as well as Pulmonary embolism (PE) is a blockage of the main artery of the lung or one of its branches by a substance that has traveled from elsewhere in the body through the bloodstream (embolism). PE most commonly results from deep vein thrombosis (a blood clot in the deep veins of the legs or pelvis) that breaks off and migrates to the lung, a process termed venous thromboselism (VTE). A small proportion is due to the embolization of air, fat talc in drugs of intravenous drug abusers or Amniotic Fluid . The obstruction of the blood flow through the lungs and the resultant pressure on the right ventricle of the heart lead to the symptoms and signs of PE. The risk of PE is increased in various situations, such as cancer or prolonged bed rest. Things just seem to be going wrong or getting worse. She really is struggling.

Then, my mom. The amazingly tough but stubborn women who gave birth to me struggles every day with Osteoarthritis. Many days after work she goes to bed having to lie flat on her back with stuff stretching her spine and so on. My mom is too young to have an operation and although she needs it, she won’t go, there is no money for that and it won’t be long before she would have to go for another one. Those operations don’t help much and you end up having one every few years which is pretty ridiculous. So, seeing and knowing how my mom suffers sucks too.

Each one of them persevere through so many situations every day, they have a lot of love and compassion to give, they are always willing and active, they are funny and crazy, but most of all they possess an incredible strength I wish I had. But they all have been dealing with illness and need God’s protective, healing hand and need our prayer.

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A poem written by Riamien about her unshakable hope about beating cancer.

Faith, Hope, Love. 
You need all of the above.
If you want to live, then you’ve got to be positive. 
There is a rumor I got a tumor. 
I used to be a dancer, but then I got cancer. 
I used to have hair all down my back, but now it is even shorter than Kojak.
But that is all right,
Cuz I’m gonna win the fight!!!