September comes to a close and I thought I would share with you a last few thoughts. September is International Childhood Cancer Month which is coming to an end but in these past few weeks God has really put them on my heart and made it clear that is where He wants me to be. Helping, loving and serving them, the kids and their families.
2 days ago, my second day of Dollar a Day was drawing to a close, and I still had to attend the Passion Conference in Pretoria at 7pm. By that time I was hungry and tired, not at all in the mood anymore. But as Chris Tomlin started to play God brought up the story in my head, that I had heard when I was still in high school, of a similar artist, Jeremy Camp who had married his first wife Melissa while she had cancer and passed away a few months after. That thought quickly passed, while we were worshiping I experienced a sense of overwhelming love and joy. While busy with worship, an intense and OVERWHELMING peace came over me, rushing through my veins as if someone had just put me on a drip of peace, I could feel the tingle of God’s peace running through my veins spreading to every part of my body. The peace came over me as I looked up to the sky at the stars which had felt so far away. As we sang the chorus of INDESCRIBABLE, “Indescribable, uncontainable, You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name, You are amazing God, All powerful, untameable, Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim, You are amazing God, You are amazing God..” I looked up at the stars again and suddenly the felt close enough to touch…. They were so extremely bright and so close. As I leaned closer, looking and wanting to touch them, each one seemed to reveal a face of a child inside that light…it felt like each star was a different child that Jesus so dearly loves and knows by the name, He was able to name each one I touched. While this was happening, I could feel my body and voice praising God at the top of my lungs, yet everyone’s singing and joy felt like background music while this was happening.
After that, Louie Giglio gave a great message from God, while he was doing that, I was sitting on a blanket next to Marine and Gerhard listening to Louie Giglio, but it felt as if I was sitting on a cloud next to God and between His stars, listening to this message. It really felt like God was enjoying watching this and I was just in awe, as God kept reassuring me through Louie Giglio’s message that He wants me to work with these kids at CANSA TLC. I could feel God smiling next to me pointing to Louie Giglio as if to say, “See? I hope you’re listening. See? Uh-huh. Hmm. See? You can do it. See? You can do what I need you to do. You see? Don’t doubt. I’ve called you by name, to carry My Name. Just like each of these stars have names and a purpose, so do you.” It kept going on, affirmation after affirmation. He just kept assuring me of what He wants me to do, but so gently, lovingly and with such excitement. As if He knows it is where I need to go to experience some challenges and growth while serving Him and lifting up His Holy Name. He kept assuring me that if He is for me then nothing could stand against me, like He’s got this – I’ve just got to go do as He says and He’ll take care of the rest. The rest of the night I praised Him and worshiped, with renewed energy and INDESCRIBABLE in my heart the next two days. I felt like I was floating on that same cloud the rest of Wednesday night and Thursday morning when I woke up I still felt in a daze, I was quiet and just left in awe, unable to say much and feeling irritated when people spoke to me as I couldn’t get out of the daze. I felt like I was drunk on the Holy Spirit but it was amazing. Since then though, I have felt at such peace about working with kids who have Cancer. I even shared the feeling of really wanting to work with the kids, with my sister and even she said she thinks I should do it and that I would enjoy it and really serve well. For her to have said that, was even more confirmation, as my sister is truly honest about what she thinks and knows me so well, I trust and believe in her opinion, so that meant so much to me.
So I feel confident and assured that this is what I should do for God, as He answered every question and doubt in me with an affirmation and word of belief in me. It really is the greatest feeling that words can hardly get close to describing. It truly is INDESCRIBABLE.
These were also a few words & scriptures from God that were shared with me as I prayed on Thursday:
Psalm 62v1 – Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him.
Deuteronomy 16v15 – For seven days celebrate the festival to the Lord your God at the place the Lord will choose. For the Lord your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete.
Exodus 33v14 – The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
1 Peter 5v7 – Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Matthew 6v8 – Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
Psalm 23v1 – The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.
John 14v27 – Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Psalm 31v15 – My times are in Your Hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me.
Psalm 33v11 – But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.
Proverbs 2v6 – For the Lord gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
Deuteronomy 2v29 – But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Psalm 27v1 – The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?