Posts Tagged With: spirit

A season for blooming

It is getting closer and closer to April, and this is probably my most favourite time of the year…It is the season in which tulips come into bloom and they start opening up to show their pretty and delicate colours. Such beautiful flowers that should be handled with such soft and caring touch, that seem a lot like me in that way I guess. This is the time of year that God breathes over them and lightly and gently touches them with His love, peeling them open with a gentleness only He possesses, that opens them to reveal His magnificent beauty and glory… Oh how I love this time of year and how my heart just sings as it is full of praise for Him.

Praise for Him – especially now as my dreams are also blooming into reality by the works of His hands. I have gone for my training to work in the prisons locally, in South Africa and internationally and am now a qualified counsellor and facilitator of Reformative Justice. A dream and desire put on my heart nearly 7 years ago by God, is now becoming a reality. I am now stepping in to it with fef2e7404cfc59a838abca787b26c1a4the authority of Christ. Yesterday I had my last day of training to become qualified and registered, and it felt like one of the most exciting and beautiful days of my life!!!! I am so excited and have such an amazing mentor under whom I will be working until I get transferred to Cape Town and I am truly blessed by Dad with this. The fact that her and I have clicked so well not only emotionally but also in Spirit has been such an amazing blessing, I was definitely pleasantly surprised by it and God’s faithfulness and goodness, Him being true to all He has promised.

I guess what made the day even sweeter and what makes it all sweeter, is that I am finally standing where God has promised after 7 years, of people telling me I couldn’t ever do this or would never be able to. So many critics, so many who tried to break and tear me down and the dreams and desires in my heart, so many who tried their best to discourage me, so many who tried to limit me and didn’t approve, some that still do. Other challenges also came along and it has been a long road taking many turns, as Satan has tried his best to keep me from Dad’s plans and dreams, but he has been unsuccessful and Dad and I have come out victorious. I know there are still many things and challenges that will be thrown my way, but with Dad on my side, who can really come against me?!

What has been amazing on this journey too, is to have seen how God has changed the hearts of my parents along the way as well as my aunt’s. I have always pushed the boundaries and my family’s way of thinking, challenging them and their perspectives as well as that about Jesus, just because my heart and thoughts were so different to theirs and because of the desires and dreams placed on my heart by God. From their perspectives that I couldn’t do this, that these things didn’t fit into the box or what they had hoped for me, to them coming humbly in tears and amazing appreciation, as if their Spiritual Eyes had been opened to God’s amazing plans. It has been humbling and so beautiful, a true honour. I was able to witness the same thing happen to my aunt last night, after feeling years of disapproval, she tried to support me over the years, but she always tried to push me in a different direction as kindly and softly or subtly as she could but I knew how she truly felt… and then last night, with great and honest revelation she came to me apologising as she had been to a conference and there the Spirit had changed and challenged her heart and thoughts… a mind renewed.  She felt guilty and ashamed and I tried my best to comfort her as she shouldn’t feel bad, she should just be more open to different things and different functions now….So I tried to show her as much love as I could…but it was truly a special moment I’ll never forget.

So this journey has been such a blessing and I am excited about what lies ahead…. A flower opening up, coming into bloom…this is a great season!

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Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Daddy’s Heartbeat

My friendLeani's daughter Lanelle... Just fits this topic so perfectly.

My friend Leani’s daughter Lanelle… Just fits this topic so perfectly.

Over the weekend in the midst of yet another spiritual attack and manifestation, I felt the need to closer my ears…firstly whatever had appeared in my room had walked pretty loudly…heavy footsteps…once again Satan had me scared, feeling vulnerable and fearful…this hadn’t been his first attack in the last couple of days so I knew what was going on…

For me, I get pretty scared by what I hear and see…I know I’m not supposed to because I am chosen, I am perfect, I am a princess, I  inherit God’s kingdom, I am His daughter, I am HIS… but I still feel a little vulnerable and scared and my Daddy seems to know that…. So this weekend when the devil was trying to attack me once again, God made me close my ears..so I pulled the covers over my ears, I don’t know why but this has always made me feel safe… but I started to close my eyes and ears and tried singing in my head so I could concentrate on something else…the singing wasn’t helping..

But I am blessed to have a Dad, a King who pursues me, His daughter, even when I’m scared and feeling like I’ve failed yet again to be brave… He then told me to focus on Him and listen for Him, using the covers as a safety net and as something to help me block out what was going on around me..helping me to forget about my carnal senses and focus my senses on Him and what can be heard and seen in the Spirit…As I focused on Him and listened for Him, I slowly began hearing a soft murmuring…but not just any kind, rather that of a heartbeat… The more I focused the louder it got until all I could hear is this heartbeat. It was a very calm and relaxed heartbeat which seemed to calm my Spirit and my Soul and body…it calmed my emotions…I felt God tell me that is His heartbeat and that as long as I always remember to focus on Him and His heartbeat, I won’t ever have to feel afraid… I can do it at any time that I am feeling a little less brave or courageous and He will help me through… It was honestly the most precious moment ever… After that I was awake the rest of the night but I felt calm and at peace and scared no longer. A beautiful gift and something I will practice and remember…something I cherish.

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Listening to The Spirit

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Looking out over the pool area of Zimbali Hotel, Ballito.

A long weekend getaway is pretty much bliss… We were away for a couple of days and I was totally blessed by it. Amazing friends and time away with them means relaxing and fun moments filled with love and laughter… The weather turned out to be cold and rainy most of the time with small spurts of sunlight breaking through the clouds in only certain moments…it was also windy but it gave us more time to relax instead of only being busy doing stuff all the time…

We definitely enjoyed making food together and eating out, listening to music, watching movies and series, playing games indoors, making jokes and laughing but most of all getting to talk and catch up and just spending quality chill time together.

But apart from the bliss, Satan was definitely at work this past weekend..trying to steal the joy, trying to condemn, attacking constantly through thoughts, nightmares, keeping us awake and out of sleep, trying to make us sick, bringing us to tears, attacking our identity in Christ, bringing up my past and using it as cheap shots to scare me and make me feel unworthy, trying to cause accidents..

But even so, God somehow turns it all to our good and blessed us even more over this weekend making Satan’s attempts look poor and like epic fails… It really was a blessing as every  time the devil attacked, God would bring Jean and I even closer to one another and draw us close to Him…but it does take practise trying to listen to the Holy Spirit instead of what I am experiencing in the flesh, in the carnal due to the devil… It took a while to learn how to focus what God does in the Spirit rather than what I am seeing with my eyes and hearing with my ears and feeling with my emotions..over the weekend God really helped and came to my rescue over and over using His Holy Spirit to show me how to see and hear in the Spirit instead of the carnal…

You really need to listen to the Spirit and trust what He tells you and what He shows you and makes you feel and be obedient towards that as the weekend I saw how that can be the difference between life and death in a very real way.

Sunday we travelled back from Ballito and finally stopped at Eliné’s house. She offered that we sleepover at her place instead of driving home that time of the night..home being Pretoria. Jean said he felt he needed to be at work early and thought I wanted to be home so decided we’d drive home. Meanwhile I felt something terribly wrong and felt we should sleepover at Eliné’s. But I didn’t say anything as I had developed a headache and thought maybe I was just being weird or imagining it.. Jean and I then left her house heading back to Pretoria but the further we went the more unsettled I felt and the more the headache started going away…feeling this was Satan’s plan I started closing my eyes and trying to block my ears so that I would not get distracted by what I see and hear around me but would rather focus on trying to hear God’s heart again(something I’ll explain later). At the same time Jean suddenly started praying in tongues because he felt he wanted to. God slowly showed me how Satan was trying to take something Eliné had said earlier and prove it wrong by causing an accident and using her two friends(that being Jean and I) and how Satan now wanted us dead…as he hadn’t been very successful at his other attempts to break our spirits earlier this weekend… As God showed me that picture and Jean started to relax while praying and driving, I decided to open my eyes and as I did, this huge white rabbit came sprinting toward our car from absolutely no where…Jean got a fright and so did I but the rabbit just missed the wheel and car by less than a split second…If Jean hadn’t relaxed in God’s presence while praying and I hadn’t closed my eyes I would possibly have made a scene and Jean could easily have panicked and swerved out causing a huge and possible fatal accident…If he didn’t swerve, even then the rabbit would have caused a lot of damage…. I burst into tears closing my eyes as I realised just how close that was and that God had warned me through the Spirit earlier but I had said nothing. I then told Jean about that feeling and for a while we couldn’t decide what to do….We drove on towards Pretoria for a while and I felt even more uneasy…so I made a choice and asked Jean if we could rather turn back to Eliné’s house. As we did that, Jean and I both started getting headaches but I suddenly felt a lot calmer….Satan was going to try again as he had just failed with the rabbit, so now he made a poor attempt using a headache to try confuse us, so that maybe we’d just want to get home and he could have another go at trying to cause an accident…but we headed back to Eliné despite it all. Accident free and slept peacefully that night at Eliné’s. The next morning we both felt at peace and headed safely towards Pretoria. Arriving safely too.

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Us girls at the beach – windy day though.

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Cooking – time for fun in the kitchen

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Meintjies braaing the steak – yum!!

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Meintjies and Estee

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Cornu and Eliné

So after an amazing weekend, God has definitely blessed me, and taken what Satan intended to harm us and turned it into good and has helped me in trusting the Holy Spirit and shown me how to look beyond what we see and hear in the carnal, focusing only on Him.

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Time of Reflection for a Happy Spirit & Soul

Pretoria-20130320-00613 - Copy (2)Over the past weekend I went on a camp with my cell group (Bible Study group) and I came to the realization that I am slowly burning out. I’m always busy and trying to help someone , always running around trying to save the world, as if it would fall apart without me. But over the weekend I could feel God telling me it is time to take a few months, chill out, find the balance, be a little selfish and take time to focus on myself. It’s time for that internal reflection and a bit of ‘me’ time in His Presence. I was also told that by Mona and a few other friends who know me really well.

I keep getting this picture of being in Mozambique, by the waters, just chilling out in God’s amazing presence. And somehow Mozambique has come up a lot. So I am in the process of organising to stay there for a month with a friend, while I take in new scenery, new people and get away from all I know. So I am very excited.

On the note of taking it chilled and some time out, to reflect deeper in myself, our Easter holidays at varsity has started today. And basically my week became super chilled on Tuesday already. I got some time to see and hang out with Heinrich, who was here from Bloemfontein, with his mom and sister who had to be at the hospital. We went to Menlyn Mall, and had supper there. It was so good to chill and get out, doing a little catch up with a special friend and not have to rush off anywhere or whatever. I just loved the evening, and was told by him Mozambique would be a good idea, but I shouldn’t work while I’m there. I should just chill out. Anyway, it left me feeling extremely happy the next day. That I really am blessed with amazing people in my life. It was the first chill out, catch up session that I could just be…enjoy it without having to solve problems or it being completely about church or my studies, something I haven’t had in ages.

Then, yesterday, one of my really good spiritual brothers, sent me a message, saying we need to go for coffee. I was out of my skin, with excitement!!!! Jean had returned from being in Thailand for a year, two weeks ago – so I’m sure you could understand why I was excited. In that, I must add, God’s timing is perfect!!!! I soooo needed a coffee date with him, although I need to chill out, his conversations are often very spiritual, but soooo very chilled. And God really speaks to him, so when he asks me questions, it usually is what I’m thinking and asking God deep within me, and usually stuff God wants to bring up. But it isn’t all spiritual talk, it was chilled conversation too with lots of laughter. When I’m with him, I usually just am chilled. It’s like my spirit and soul just chill out and feel at home. Although he has done stuff in the past that I don’t agree with, since the first time I got to know him, we have had an incredible spiritual connection and he truly is a crazy cool spiritual brother to have.

He came to pick me up last night, and probably got the biggest hug ever when I saw him!!!! I actually feel tears when I think back to last night, I’m just in such a calm, happy place because of seeing him.  When I got into the car, after a few minutes of driving, he said to me, ‘God really loves you a lot, you know that?’ I thanked him but then he went on, ‘no, really, I can literally feel it. Being in your presence, in this car, I can feel how much God loves you.’ He was the second person in a matter of two days who had said this to me. When we got out the car, at the restaurant, he called me a name, someone else usually calls me – the same person, who had said the same thing about God loving me earlier that week. It was super weird, but I was loving it. It was good to connect with someone who understands and knows you so well, that it almost feels like they haven’t been gone for a year in a place halfway around the world! Later on in the evening, at the table, he was sitting smiling and smoking his cigarette, and I asked him what he was thinking, since he had such a huge grin on his face. His reply was just, ‘nah, it’s just this. This is really nice.’ I didn’t understand what he meant, so between my smile and frown he explained ‘In Thailand I was alert to the Holy Spirit and constantly tuned in, but I was tuned in to Spiritual Warfare and always ready to pick up on something that was wrong. But now, being in your presence and feeling how much God loves you. It is just awesome, to be picking up what is right and beautiful. I’ve missed this. Being able to chill with another person in the body of Christ.’ Anyway, so the rest of the night we discussed really serious topics and some really light ones, laughed a lot and also just chilled out.

So by the end of the night, my spirit and soul felt super mellow and happy! And this morning I still feel that. I feel so calm and mellow, and so incredibly happy. A feeling I haven’t felt since beginning February, where even there, I only felt it once or twice between utter chaos. So I’m loving every moment of this feeling and can’t wait for the rest of this time of reflection. My parents arrive today, then it’s a weekend on the farm in Potch, then a chilled week and for Easter I have the options of chilling out in Pretoria, or going to our farm in the Karoo or going to Onrus, in the Western Cape. So this really is a hopeful awesome time. And God is just blessing me so much and showering me with immense amounts of love. I truly feel blessed and am so thankful!!

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Health, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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