I watched the movie ‘The Vow’ for the second time the other day. What a great movie! Whether you’re in a serious relationship with someone or not, it really seems to apply to any relationship you have with any other person on this planet – be it family, your colleagues, your friends, or your partner.
There are a few really amazing themes that stood out for me.
Moments & choices: In the movie Leo, talks about ‘moments of impact’. Our lives are made up of many moments, moments which can end up defining exactly who we are and who we become. Many times we hang onto them, some good and some bad. But we have to learn which to hang onto and which to let go. Because sometimes, it isn’t what happened in those moments that is of importance, but what we choose to do with them and from that moment onward, that is. We get to choose whether moments will bring us closer in our relationships with others or with God or whether they will completely tear us apart or come between those relationships. But in the end, we make that choice.
Change: There is ALWAYS potential for change. Although we can’t always see the potential for change, it is there and we have to believe in it and hope for it. No relationship, no situation – is static.
Glass half full: There will be times of immense closeness and also times of being far apart. But just because things spin a little off, doesn’t mean those can’t be great opportunities & ventures. Things can be worse than ever but there is also a chance that it can be greater than you ever expected. You can find treasure in the most unimaginable places you just have to be willing or open to exploring & letting God show you what He needs to.
Control: You can’t always, no matter how hard you try, control every situation you land in or how it affects you. Only God can. But you can choose how you deal with it and how you respond to how it affects you. You can choose what effects will come after how it affected you.
You have to let God take control, let the beans spill where they may. Go on the journey. Take things as they come and roll with the waves. Until God chooses to bring it all back together/put things back together again.
It’s kinda like that wait between waves…. That period when the water is just flat for ages and you think nothing is coming. In that wait, you have gotta chill out and just enjoy it…feel the water. And suddenly when you can feel the ripples and the vibration that there’s a wave coming, you turn and prepare yourself for when that wave comes…and when it does, you ride it again. It’s the same with waves, you can’t make them come. You just gotta wait it out and make the best of that wait.
You can’t change people. Only God can. You’ve just gotta go on, wait it out, until they’re ready. All you can do is get ready and prepare yourself for when that change comes. Things have to happen naturally, you can’t force them.
It starts with me (or for you, it starts with YOU) – it starts with US: To be able to love people, and I mean truly love them..we have to love ourselves first. To bring out the best in others, we have to be or try be the best versions of ourselves.
We have to be willing to accept ourselves, love and accept all forms of ourselves. Be comfortable in our own skin. We have to love all forms of others, accepting every version of them. We can’t love and accept pieces of people. God didn’t do that with us, so why should we or why would we do that with others? We have to accept people completely. Although we may not like all of them or even all versions of ourselves, we still need to accept them and ourselves, love all of it as a whole.
Love is a CHOICE, more than just a feeling: Truly loving another human being (no matter the type of relationship), is a CHOICE. Not merely a feeling. You choose to love someone despite your feelings at that particular moment. You choose to love despite the bad versions of themselves. You choose to forgive their wrongs. You accept the whole human they are. If you had to lose all your memories about that person, like Paige does in the movie – if you had to lose all those moments, what would happen? You’d have lost all records you’ve kept of anything they ever did, including their wrongs. It would be a clean slate. Exactly like what Christ did for us on the cross. He accepted us for who we are and who we are not and who He knew we could be. But never forcing what He believed we can be down our throats, but giving us the freedom of choice. He gave us an undeserving clean slate. Another chance. If you truly love, you do not keep record of wrongs and do not abandon that person for the wrongs, but rather love and forgive, staying for all the reasons and things done right, hoping in what is right.
My last point is just how much this movie showed me about acceptance.
Accepting others for who they are, is so much more important than accepting them for what we want them to be. That is truly loving and putting their needs first. In that also, wanting them to be happy even if it would mean we won’t be a part of that.
God accepted us for who we are and not for who He wants us to be. That’s why He died on the cross, wiped the slate clean of all the wrong. And because He knows who He wants us to be but accepts us for who we are and truly loves us, He gave us FREE WILL.
It truly is a great movie, but the lessons that lie within it, are amazing treasures that are even greater.