Posts Tagged With: hope

Defeated? – NO!

Being home at the coast, visiting my parents is always a great time for me as I get the chance to do a lot of self-reflection and it always seems to be at the right time and when I have just about had enough of the city and need a breakaway to another place. But although I came home to see my parents, I also had a plan of things I needed to discuss with them and a whole bunch of things that needed to be sorted out as well as the feeling that I needed to come home and see them.

Today though, my dad and I made a trip to Harding to the licensing department, one of the reasons I am home. Somehow I really just don’t enjoy making appointments with them, as mine rarely work out but today I was pretty optimistic. Once I came out with an appointment date though, my optimism was short lived and had flown out the window. The earliest appointment they had was a month after the date I had hoped for… I really felt defeated when the guy gave me the date and tried hard to swallow back my tears.

I was disappointed because I have a lot going on and really needed that date to be at the end of February, to suit my schedule. I also had a million things that were on hold because of this date and lots I needed to get back to in Pretoria. More than that though, I am missing my friends and more importantly, my life. DEFEATED just wasn’t the word. I guess it is also dealing with how many things I’m missing out on every day and hearing about them on the phone or a few days later, just isn’t the same.

Being at home has been a challenge as I’m home alone with the dog all day. I haven’t seen my sister in over a month. And ya. Mates are all back at varsity and stuff. And being without a car also gets me down. Relying so much on others really is frustrating me. But today, when I got back to the car, my dad was super sweet about it. He got a plan in action in the first 5 seconds of me telling him the horrid news, and all is well. My dad – a HERO!

But just by this, although I felt defeated I kinda got to a point where God was telling me, that it isn’t how I planned but He turns all things to my good. So it is best just to make the best of the situation and use this time fully rather than me moping around about things. All my grandparents are down, so now I get to spend time with them, which I hardly get to do with a usually busy schedule. I get to see a few friends, who live down here that I never see. I get to do a ton of yoga, sort out my stuff before I move back to Pretoria, I get to spend time and minister and build relationship with my parents. I might miss my life in Pretoria every day, but I get to focus and build relationship with God and help me become more of the woman that is needed so that I can be a blessing to so many others.

Me being alone, I got used to it in 2011, but after that my sister and I lived together for 2 years. Now being home and alone most of the day, I get to build me again and get used to doing what is needed and focus on myself and the goals I have. It is a tough time. I felt just as defeated yesterday in yoga. I was just as optimistic and eager to go do yoga and after the first 10 to 20 minutes I was already feeling frustrated and defeated as I wasn’t getting any of the poses right that I had planned to. I wanted to give up right then and there and throw in the towel. But I soon realised that I could do that, it is easy to do that. But the harder choice is trying again and persevering through the frustration and disappointment, and doing my best to try get things right. I ended up sticking to it, and stretching and messing around all day, trying over and over again until I got some of the poses right. Once I got at least one of them right I was totally stoked and the perseverance paid off and felt totally worth it and I suddenly felt like tomorrow I could actually try again. I suddenly felt hopeful in trying again the next day. It just takes patience and an attitude of trying again even though all other attempts failed. An attitude that believes there is still hope and is going to try make the best of whatever is thrown in your direction.

So yeah, I might have to be here an extra while but I can work around what is happening and still make other things happen. I can just do my best and use it to my advantage and to strengthen my relationship with God and others.

So defeated? I could have been but I refuse to be. I can be anything, but I won’t be defeated by anything or anyone and the enemy won’t defeat me.

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Health, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be The Statistic That Conquered

My friend - Sarah Beth Flippo (on the right)

My friend – Sarah Beth Flippo (on the right)

This morning when  I woke up, I just felt the need to share a testimony of a friend, whom shared hers with us two days before my birthday in August. Many girls I know, including me and some friends struggled with eating disorders back in high school, for different reasons but it is something that happened. So when I read her testimony, it really struck a deep cord in my heart.  It is beautiful and she wrote straight from the heart. Hope this may encourage some girls out there today.

Love

Xx M

My Struggle Against Anorexia Nervosa and How I Survived It!

Tonight as I was laying in bed, God really started to speak to me about my past. I have met so many people that look at me and think straight off the bat that I am a very confident and put together person. Now I am not saying that I’m not because I am but it took one crazy road to get here. Most of you have never heard my testimony as to how I came to know Christ. I actually haven’t even been a Christian that long. But tonight as I was laying here I felt that God wanted me to share it to the public for I know many girls and even some guys are struggling from the very thing that brought me to my knees, Eating Disorders.

I was diagnosed with Anorexia January 2009. It had all started six months before that when I had moved to the US for 9 months with my family. I was a happy teenager that didn’t care about the size in her jeans or the way she looked all I knew was I was happy with life and that is all that mattered. I was comfortable with where I was in South Africa and was not ready to get up and move. There was nothing I could do to make the move stop it was something that had to take place. I soon realized when I got to move to America that it was not the same as Africa. I had never experienced culture shock until June 2008.

As I got to America I started to realize a difference between me and all the other girls, they wore make-up and dressed up for class and I was a simple girl that didn’t wear make-up and did the jeans and t-shirts every day. As school began things got a little harder. At the lunch table I would eat whatever but the other girls would watch what they eat or not eat all of it I thought that was why they were all so pretty and skinny. So I slowly began to do the same thing. It started out as a harmless little “I’ll lose a little weight to where I am healthy.”

So it started I began to eat a little healthier and work out a little harder in gym class and as they said, the weight began to decrease and it felt good, I loved the compliments. So I decided to lose a little more and again, I loved the compliments. So I decided I’d lose another dress size, except it wouldn’t stop one dress size became more than 7 dress size in total. I was a size twelve when I started and made my way down to a size zero by the December of 2008.

But I still was not satisfied with the way I was, in my mind I was still the size 12 girl (which is not even close to being big). When I got to a size four that is when the compliments stopped and the questions started. Soon people were telling me, that I needed to stop losing weight as I looked good but not healthy anymore. But I did what I knew best and listened to my anorexia speak. It got so bad I would not let myself eat over 200 calories when the regular intake for one was 2000.

Soon the symptoms started, I began to lose my hair in chunks, I began bruising all over my body, I was always cold no matter the temperature I always had sweats and jackets on and then more symptoms arose after that. In January 2009 I fell ill and my mother took me to the doctor where I got medicine and weighed nothing was said about my weight until I had to return two weeks later because of severe bruising down my spine, and this is when the mater arose my weight,  had lost 4 pounds since the last time I saw the doctor. I will never forget this is the day my life changed forever. He diagnosed me with Anorexia Nervosa. I can still remember the look on my mother’s face when he said that I had developed an eating disorder.

It seemed all so unreal to me as I didn’t want to believe him, in my mind I was not sick and I did not need help until he said the D word. What D word you may be asking? Death. He told me that I could have a heart attack any day if I kept up this life style the words to this day ring in my head “You are killing yourself, Sarah if you keep losing weight you will DIE.”9ebfa4ab860bbaae959de916264e81b5

That is the moment I realized it was not my time to die, that moment I realized I did not want to be a statistic on some graph of people who died from Anorexia but I wanted to be the statistic on a graph that survived it. I remember getting off that table and getting into the car and looking at my mom saying were going to do this. It was not an easy road out, matter fact it was one of the hardest roads for me and especially my family. It took 3 years for me to recover from anorexia, and to this day I still struggle with it but not as badly.

I had to go to counselling, doctor visits, shots, medications, nutrionist the list goes on and on but every single person that helped me through my journey saved my life. But most of all my Christian Parents, I know that they did not have an easy time with me growing up and I know I had cost them some money but they never once turned away, they always stood right next to me and cheered me on. They still cheer me on to this day. God has blessed me with an amazing family that has supported me through a very difficult situation that effects many many families today. I have to say to the girls that consider any sort of lifestyle that your body is a temple of Christ and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Love the way you are because God does! And if you are struggling with something along these lines, go seek help because you want to be that statistic that conquered!

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44 days & Counting

Exactly 1 year ago, my beautiful friend Liela, met her prince, Yvotte, one who we’d been praying for and whom she had been praying for, for years! They met at Tuks’ annual Missions Week and he was a guest speaker to share his testimony and what an incredible man and story that was!

And now, in exactly 44 days, these two beautiful people will be wed. My amazing friend will be wed and they might be moving over to the U.S after that. Incredible things happening as God continues to bless these two. 44 days til the wedding and we’re all pretty darn excited!

Love this beautiful friend of mine and God truly has blessed me with a special sister and friend – someone very close to my heart!

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Celebrating God’s Blessings

So God has totally blessed me with some pretty damn amazing and inspirational people in my life… Each of their situations different with different things to celebrate, but celebrating nonetheless! I am so incredibly blessed and cannot help but share their amazing stories and excitement with all of you.

Firstly, Friday, I was hardly on the coast an hour when I bumped into a great friend I’ve had in my life since high school at the Southcoast Mall. She is an amazing woman of God who has been an incredible blessing, always sharing her love and wisdom and inspiring me to do more and be more and constantly seek God in all situations. I have been able to confide in her so many times with my heart and issues and so much more. She is the sister of my friend Ryan, but also a friend I had made being in school, doing a play together and later being there to do my make-up for my matric dance, one day when I get married, I’m sure she’ll be there doing my makeup too just by the way. As I left school our friendship grew and I was able to look to her as a great role model and we got closer as we both were concerned about her brother and later as we prayed for her first born, Reece while he was still in her tummy. God also gave me a vision and prophetic word that I soon shared with Kerry-lee about her son Reece. Now, I am happy to announce that this lovely lady’s family is growing from 3 people to 4 as she is expecting a second little person to be joining soon. Kerry and her husband Kyle have another baby on board and I must say, I am thrilled for them. Reece has grown up so quickly, being one bright little boy. So another little person seems like more joy to be added to this amazing little family. Such blessed news and Kerry is glowing! Hoping to have tea and a little catch up session in this week with Kerry-lee so I am super excited!!! What an inspirational woman!

Then, Saturday evening, I got to spend some time with Kelly!!! His news is that he is heading back to the U.S soon and taking friends with him… He is motivating and inspiring his mates to start doing things and it is a pleasure to watch and hear. He really has matured quite a bit and God really seems to be using him in helping his friends get up and started in life. He’s also turning 21 in less than a month which is pretty exciting too. So I am incredibly proud of my favorite and enjoying every little moment I am having to spend with him.

Then, lastly, one of my oldest friends who I have known since my days of running around in a nappy – Raymond Burger… He’s been in my life forever. We used to live around the corner from each other and our moms are very good friends! We went to the same nursery school and later ended up in the same high school. We’ve been through the laughter and the tears… We have seen the best and worst of each other but have been there to support and believe in each other through it all. Nevermind what people have thought, I have always been proud to call Raymond my friend. He really has been an inspiration in my life as well. He’s had it tough, tougher than a lot of people that I know, but he made the best of it and has turned everything around for the best. If there was one guy whom I never doubted knew God personally and had seen God’s light shine through, that would be Raymond. He doesn’t always believe he’s been the best person, but if people got to see half what I have seen in him and from him, they’d agree he’s pretty incredible. Anyway, in the past few years he’s been in the gym and going at it. Always setting goals and persevering ’til he gets there. If there is a strong person who has taught me about fighting for what’s right and what you want and persisting through anything, battling it out. It would be him. And loving yourself and being you, no matter what. Lessons he’s taught me. Anyway, I’ve watched him and chatted and kept in contact while he has gone through all he has. I have also been there while he has given me lessons on nutrition, spoken about helping people and the book he wants to write, the hours he spent practicing driving with me and many more moments. He’s the one I’ve called if I need advice on body issues or actually any other stuff. He’s always had my back. Now, I get to celebrate another fine moment in his life. On Saturday I saw him for a moment at the rugby game, and I could hardly believe the transformation… But if there has been anyone who could do it, it has been him. Over the past year and a half, I’ve been able to see him before his transformation and now another part of it. It might not be the end or his final goal, but it is a massive goal he has reached! He has lost an incredible amount of weight and the pictures say it all. So, well done to him for getting as far as he has and for all the success still to come! Sooooo amazing! Rejoicing with him in every moment. He is a great inspiration and motivation. If you put your mind to it and with God by your side, you can do anything!

So congrats to these people I am lucky to call friends and family! Amazing people whom God has blessed me with. Love you all xx

Kerry-lee & her family. Kyle(her husband) & little Reece(her son)

Kerry-lee & her family. Kyle(her husband) & little Reece(her son)

With my favorite

With my favorite

Kelly & I - chilled evening

Kelly & I – chilled evening

Raymond. An incredible difference!!

Raymond. An incredible difference!!

The crazy transformation! So proud of him!

The crazy transformation! So proud of him!

The difference. These pants are from grade 8. They were a size 40. #transformation

The difference. These pants are from grade 8. They were a size 40. #transformation

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Health, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Time Out

The past few weeks, I have taken time out from my regular schedule and taken time out from church… I am a theology student and part of our course is to be getting involved practically at one set church. I’m totally okay with that and it has kept me extremely busy but it was time to take some time out and get some ‘me-time’ with God, until I could learn how to balance things and learn what to say ‘yes’ to and what to say ‘no’ to. God really has been faithful in teaching me and helping me and protecting me, even though I still have a long way to go.

Not only have I had time to deal with loss but He has also helped in teaching me how to deal with loss and other disappointments. He’s taught me about what situations and things I can personalize and what I shouldn’t in protecting my heart. There have also been lessons on love, friendship, stepping into authority made possible by His grace, lessons on divorce, pressures to be perfect, vulnerability, condemnation and a whole lot more. So, if I haven’t shared thoughts on these things, I will still do so in time, as I feel God leads me to do.

I must admit, I’m on a little bit of a spiritual high – or so it feels. Feels like God’s grace and kindness and love has been of abundance this week. Been listening to sermons on grace while studying and learning more about God while studying has had me pretty pumped all week! It has even had me excited to study Greek and a few other things that I usually wouldn’t be keen on.

So anyway, have a blessed day and weekend coming up. May it be an amazing few days, especially if your week hasn’t lived up to your expectations. May God bless you and comfort you and exceed all your possible expectations! Amen!

Xx
M

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Dust + Light = Beauty

Grace can change anybody or anything. Any circumstance or situation. But I have seen it change people – the people we think are the worst of the worst. Grace and love has that power.

For me it looks a little like this:
Like the bit of light that comes shining through the window in the gap in the closed curtains when not closed properly. There’s that small gap of light shining in. If you’re sitting in the right place, you can see small little pieces of dust – tiny dust particles – that are flying around, but they almost look like little pieces of glitter or sparkle dancing around in the air and light.

The same goes with God. He is that light and we are the small dust particles that almost seem to sparkle while we dance in His Presence. But it’s those small pieces of sparkle that you can only see if you look carefully. And so it is with every ‘bad guy,’ with every person… If you look carefully, you can see that little bit of beauty, that little bit of hope, that little bit of Jesus in them… And you have to shine the light on that and focus on that. The more you do that, the more you focus on that beauty the more beautiful it becomes, and if that is how you see that person and you interact with them in a beautiful way building them up when you interact and speak to them as result of that bit of sparkle then maybe they too will see it…
God just needs to see that little bit of sparkle and to focus on it because that is all He sees.

I believe, that’s how He knew He’d make people from dust. A piece of dust and a little sparkle from the Light… Resulted in beauty… Now that’s love. That’s grace. That He could see so much potential in a small bit of dust, such a small moment of sparkle and can decide to create us… That He would choose us…. And if we could see that bit of sparkle in others, and show it to them, focusing on it… Then maybe they too will see it… Maybe then, they will choose Him too.

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Hope with Promise

wind1After all I experienced last year, all the death and pain and loss, all the discomfort and hurt and disappointment, I can honestly say, I still haven’t learnt how to completely deal with it. I thought I had, but I have been truly humbled by losing Riamien, as I saw how much I still needed to learn about processing the disappointment and hurt and loss. I saw it in the shock I felt when I heard the news, then the sudden anger & disappointment I felt towards God…all the crying I did and shouting and babbling between tears that my friend Jean, at that moment – had to deal with…luckily he was very understanding and patient and handled me with such love and grace. He didn’t give me answers and he sat and prayed with me, speaking only when God allowed him and I am so blessed and thankful for that. He truly is an amazing spiritual brother.

At about 12pm that evening I was still awake and Doug heard the news, and sent me a sermon by Bill Johnson that speaks exactly about this loss and how we deal with it. Doug and a few others had me travel down to meet them at the coast last year when I had also suffered another loss, so I think he just knew this was needed. Bill Johnson speaks in this sermon about a few things but especially about learning to process disappointment & how to walk through & navigate when things don’t turn out how expected or prayed for or whatever it may be. I truly believe, in every part of my spirit and soul, that this is something we need to learn to do otherwise many things in our life will be out of balance.

Learning to process disappointment & how to walk through & navigate when things don’t turn out how expected, may be one of the most difficult lessons to learn. It is something which may have to be repeated every time you go through a disappointment, so that you learn to apply and understand the concept but it is of great value. We need to learn to minister to ourselves and know how to navigate this disappointment to be able to fully step into what God has intended for us, to step fully into our calling.

We cannot be trusted with the fulfilment of promise until we know how to trust God when things don’t look so good. Therefore we need to trust in Him.

We need to trust the Lord with all our heart, leaning not on our own understanding, but acknowledging Him in all our ways so that He may direct our paths. (Paraphrased from Proverbs 3v5&6).

The word Yedah is translated from the Hebrew as “acknowledge” about only once in Bible.. the rest of the time it speaks of “to know”. So put that in the place of “acknowledge” and you’ll have:

Trust the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways – KNOW (acknowledge) Him, and He will direct your paths.(Proverbs 3v5&6)

We need to trust Him in everything. Trust Him with everything. Take all the stuff that seem or are hard to navigate or process and make them easy to navigate or process – in all our ways KNOW HIM.

And He prepares a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. (Psalm 23v5)

This verse tells of the table God prepares for us in the presence of our enemies, in front of the devil. It is a place of intimacy, intimate gathering, a place of closeness and refuge. We need to find that place, in the midst of disappointment, in the midst of all the chaos, despite what we feel at that moment – find that place of communion and then He will help us navigate.

It is like finding the eye of the tornado. It is the place where it is most peaceful. Drawing closer to God, drawing near to Him and KNOWing Him in all things and all ways.

In times of difficulty, actually so many times, we throw in the towel and say that ‘this isn’t what we signed up for.’ In a moment of great tragedy or loss or some disappointment, we give up. We get angry, we get sad – which is normal and is probably okay in trying to come to terms with whatever has happened, but when we make that decision that this is not what we signed up for then we are wrong, because we did. We did when we said ‘yes’ to the Lord, when we accepted Him.

God has such a profound ability to redeem any terrible or horrific situation that many people including those in churches will assume the conclusion that God designed that terrible/horrific situation and to just assume that is wrong. Often, I have made the mistake of thinking that and assuming such nonsense and falling into the devil’s trap. This is where we need to understand the difference between what God approves, what He ordains and what the enemy means for evil.

Death, loss, destruction – those are Satan’s fingerprints, they are NOT God’s. (This is something Jean and many others have told me over and over, but something I quickly seem to forget…)

Bill asks and says the following and I love how he puts it and I totally agree:

Q: Can God use disease?

A: Of course He can. He is able to shift things to use to His advantage. But we would never think God led someone into sin but the church often says He leads people into disease to make them stronger. This is not true. God would no more lead someone into sickness/disease than He would lead them into sin.

If we look at drug addicts who get free from drugs, we will see that they usually end up ministering to other drug addicts with great authority. When truly free, they walk with authority in that area and God uses them to set others free. That applies to many situations.

God’s ability is so profound in His capability of taking a fallen person and raising them up and giving them authority in the area that they fell in, that those who haven’t yet come to Christ can easily make the mistake of thinking that God is leading them into sin so that He could use their sin for something better.

But we know that is not true.

If we understand the concept of grace correctly then we should naturally come to that conclusion (that God does not lead us into sin). Paul deals with that exact question in Romans asking ‘so should we sin so we can see grace abound?’

But in this question, he just outlines the fact that God’s grace is more than enough and answers the question by saying, ‘no, absolutely not.’

The point being that God would never lead you into any horrific sin so that later in life He could use you to promote the Gospel. And as that is true, He would never afflict anyone into disease so that they or their family would be a better family or whatever the reason we may think.

May God, the source of hope, fill you with joy and peace through your faith in Him. Then you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15v13)

Faith will bring answers but not all the answers and that is why there is something like enduring faith. If faith brought all the answers, you wouldn’t need enduring faith. So faith brings answers, but enduring faith brings answers with character.

There is a great privilege in seeing God touch people’s lives. That is stated and made clear in the book of Acts, as miracles and breakthrough is seen. The power of God is displayed in miracles and then also displayed in endurance.

Bill Johnson talks about Steven, in the Bible. What a great servant he was – to have served Jesus, the Great Deliverer, until the very day of his martyrdom, when the Great Deliverer did not deliver him. It just shows the great honour there is, in standing in the midst of mystery when there hasn’t been a breakthrough and to still have that ‘yes to the Lord’ in your heart. There is just something so special about keeping the resolve when things didn’t work out as you thought. Keeping the trust in the One Most Trustworthy is the great privilege of the Christian life.

Falling into the hands of the Living God is a terrifying thing. (Hebrews 10v31)

To have God in control can often be a scary thought. Giving all control up and knowing it is all in His hands is scary, especially in the situation of a loved one who is sick or something that means a lot to you. But it can also be a very wonderful thing. Waiting on Him to make the decisions is an amazing thing, because delayed answers gain interest. And wherever God says no – it is because He has a better ‘yes’ to follow.

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. (Hebrews 10v32-36)

The power of God on our life is to demonstrate the Kingdom. It is to demonstrate the delivering, redeeming power of Jesus, but there are times that this doesn’t seem to work or to happen. And it is then, that the power lies in the ability to remain ‘yes’ before the Lord when our circumstances seem to deny what we thought would happen. There is power in the miracles but there is also power in the endurance.

Referring back to Psalm 23v5 – In the celebration He makes the devil watch. Every time we say we love Jesus, it is like He plays it over the devil’s intercom so that he hears it.

So whether we get a promotion at work, do well in a test or a loved one dies – in all your ways KNOW HIM. Take a moment to feast on the One THAT IS more than enough. When you do that, the disease that comes from disappointment cannot and will not devour the heart.

We need to learn to do that. Many times, I myself or others, put all the weight of our/their walk with God on an answer we think should happen. No matter how Biblically sound it appears to be – the weight of God’s entire character rests on one particular breakthrough. And to do this, I’ve realized and have been told too, is so ridiculous and so extremely dangerous! To put our whole walk with Christ, everything we’ve experienced with Him; His call – when He called us by name, called us to relationship with Him and we said ‘yes’ and repentance came and we believed in His name and we were born-again; to put all that into question if we don’t become or get what we thought we should – is dangerous. It is absolutely foolish because that is exactly what the enemy wants. He wants us to constantly put everything in a corner with no understanding of it.

The question then is that although I believe in miracles, what if I never saw one for the rest of my life? What would I do?

Bill says – Even if he never saw one for the rest of his life, he’d already seen too much to change how he lives. He can’t put the weight of how he’s going to live on just one more prophetic word, just one more miracle or one more encounter. He’s already seen enough.

And that’s how we need to see this.

God has called us to fight for breakthrough for His glory, but when things don’t work out, there are probably things that are wrapped around these problems that we do not know how to dismantle. But He is giving us insight and maturing us. The formulae that we have for breakthrough to happen should be destroyed. Because it isn’t a formula, it is a relationship with this Being where He breathes life into us, every moment, day by day. And we need to take these losses as painful as they are – or as tragic as they are – and they need to drive us into that secret place with the Lord where we say ‘God you’ve gotta increase the anointing, increase our understanding where it’s needed so that these things that are wrapped around these problems, that have not yet yielded to the name Jesus – show me what I can do?’

Whenever there’s a loss or disappointment – being able to stand with an absolute ‘yes’ to God, is where strength is discovered.

Anyone who has gone through a loss or is dealing with it right now will be able to testify to not being particularly strong right now, as they are all depleted of strength, drained from emotion. But that’s where God says His strength is perfected in weakness (refer to 2 Corinthians 12v9 or Philippians4v13 or Nehemiah8v10).

Anytime there is someone depleted of all the strength they can muster up, yet they’ve retained their ‘yes’ to God – that is some of the most profound strength that exists on this planet. It’s the ‘yes’ in the midst of no ability to pull ourselves up by the boot straps…it’s that ‘yes’.  That trusting with all your heart. Faith brings answers. Enduring faith brings answers. And then there is Romans 8v28:

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God – those whom He has called according to His purpose.

That promise isn’t even necessary if there are things that don’t make it past faith and past enduring faith.

We cannot lose trust in the One who is perfectly good. We need to realise that there are things we do not understand and if for some reason it seems to appear that there was a NO – that there’s a better YES coming and when we realize that, it turns our hearts to that hope and promise.

It’s not endurance – it is hope with promise.

All things work together for good. That is for all the things that get past faith and enduring faith. It’s the confidence that God is able to use the worst of situations for His glory. And in eternity you’ll look back at all the things you questioned and say ‘AMEN.’

Funerals put us in touch with eternity. This life is a mere breath, a shadow. Eternity is a substance and that’s what we’re living for. Anytime we lose sight of that, eternity is what keeps us and our morals sound. It’s like athletes who train for 4 years to run a 10 second race. It is basically just a moment. We live, for however long it is, for that one moment…To hear, ‘Well done.’ Everything is for that ONE moment.

So all I know now, is that I have gotta get back to that table. That table that God has put there, and although I may be surrounded by my enemy – he’s the one that is powerless as I draw near to feast on the One who is perfectly faithful.tumblr_mc093jWMEJ1rxxk99o1_500_large (1)

The prayer that Bill Johnson left me with is as follows:

“That God would raise up a generation of champions that hold the resolve of a profound ‘yes’ regardless of circumstances, yet a people that grow in anointing and wisdom to unravel the things that surround disease, affliction and torment. That there would be an increase of breakthrough anointing, that there would be an unusual grace & ability to find the table that has been set in the midst of enemies, in the midst of confusing situations and to be able to feast. I also thank Him for making the devil watch our relationship which increasingly grows. I bless the Lord. Amen.”

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1v17)

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fighting for You

One of my friends is struggling a lot right now. Things seem to continue to go a little chaotic for her and she is finding it hard to hold onto God and His promises.

But today, in the midst of having finished a whole lot of work after working more than 8 hours through the night and being dead tired, I came across a promise that is made in the Bible. It is in Exodus 14v14: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Every day there is going to be a battle, whether we see it and are aware of it or not. It may be physically tangible or in the spiritual realms. No matter how hard life gets, we need to know and hold onto the promise that God WILL fight for us and will come through for us. I know it gets tough, and I have been there, but God is so faithful and He won’t let us down.

It is easy to hold onto God and His beautiful promises when things seem to be going okay, but push us a little too far over the line and suddenly His promises are harder to hold onto and it is easier to forget how faithful He is in fighting for us. Even if we have seen it many times, Him fighting for us and delivering us time and time again, somehow we always forget and have to be reminded. But God is always true to what He promises in His Word, so keep holding on. You can be sure that He will fight for you, no matter what. God’s love is intense and He was serious about fighting for us when He let His Son die for us, so keep holding on.

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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