It’s a brand new morning, very peaceful after some rain and a lot cooler than it has been the past few days. I’ve woken up after sleeping through my alarm, kind of missing my prayer time. Luckily for me, God is always there to listen. But I am glad God blessed me with an extra hour of sleep as my body is still trying to recover after Tuesday evening’s all-nighter. So now, I am feeling a whole lot better.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I read Proverbs 31. And God seems to be putting it on my heart again, reminding me of the Proverbs 31 woman.
He really is putting it on my heart to share about beauty and your heart. This post is basically for the ladies, but obviously the guys can read it too. Beauty really isn’t everything and I have had to learn that more times than I would have liked.
A guy who truly adores you and cares about you, isn’t going to care about the way you look. It’s great to get all dressed up when you go on a date, and taking care of yourself should be part of your normal routine as it shows you respect yourself. But that isn’t all there is to it. A guy who adores you isn’t going to care how pretty you try look every time he has to see you. It might be great and he might give you a compliment but even if he does that shouldn’t be your priority to trying to win his heart. He would fall in love with your personality and heart for God. He may first give you a glance because your hair looks good or you have a cute dress on, but if that’s what won his heart, he’ll be out the door or breaking you down at the first sign of crazy hair or the wrong colour painted nails.
Often beauty and the looking pretty can be a curse as guys think of other things they can get. IF you’re having to use looking pretty or dressing up just to get some attention, then you’re looking at the wrong type of guy. And what is even worse, is that once you’ve gone through all that trouble and he still doesn’t notice anything, you are left disappointed and sad. It isn’t dumb, but you are seeking the wrong kind of attention and expecting way more from the guy than he is necessarily able to give and in many ways that isn’t fair because that is dumping YOUR insecurity issues on him. The same goes with doing things for others. You shouldn’t have to grab his attention by doing millions of things for him as if he should owe you or as a way of proving yourself, because again, if you suddenly stop or for some reason can’t do all those things, then what is there for him to like if that was the basis of the relationship? You should be confident in yourself and just be yourself, all the actions in the world shouldn’t be the reason that he likes you, because then you risk being used and not truly loved.
The problem here is – you should be looking toward God for those things. God should be the one who makes you feel beautiful and lets you know it. For a year, God took me on a journey where He proved to me I was worthy and beautiful. It wasn’t because of my looks, it was because of my heart for Him and how I dedicated my time to Him and decided His opinion mattered more than any guy ever. In that time He used people to compliment me on my looks but on many other things too, He really showed me there is more to it all and that the guy who falls in love with me will be one who falls in love with me for more than just my petals, it would be because of my fragrance of love, grace and joy that is founded in Christ.
That’s why I am reminded of the Proverbs 31 woman. So what is she? She is a blessing to those who know her. Her strong character and industrious spirit give where others only take. She doesn’t expect anything back, not even a ‘thank you’. Her focus is never on herself, but on God and because of that, she isn’t easily offended. She is also not offended if others play or sleep while she has works. Her gift to those around her is her undying love for God, which takes her out of herself and gives her the confidence to create opportunities to prosper. Everything that she does, she does for the love of God and because of that the people He has entrusted her with are well cared for. She is able, by the help of God, to do more than the average person could do because she doesn’t rely on her own strength but on His. When stress or worry rears its ugly head, she quickly looks the other way and returns to her purpose on earth: to serve her living God and NOT her emotions. She speaks with wisdom that comes from her faith in God and His Holy Spirit.
Her words encourage and admonish and NEVER belittle or despise. They are always coloured with her love of God. She isn’t afraid of teaching others the truth of Scripture because she is so confident in it herself. She is tireless in her efforts to serve the living God because she draws her power from Him daily. People are amazed at her tenacity and ability to overcome even the most difficult situations. She finds truth in the Word of God and application for her daily life, looking for answers to life’s hard questions in its pages. Her life is enviable, not because of its earthly success but because of its heavenly success. Peace, hope and love are hers, and because of that others call her, like the women who have come before her, blessed.
So true beauty and then love from anyone for you won’t come from your service to that person or how pretty you try looking, it comes from your heart for God and serving Him and not your emotions. It all comes from God and being gentle and compassionate in your spirit. Not from trying to prove yourself or that you are worthy, not breaking others down with your negative words and pointing out how others are always doing something wrong or not the way you would do it. It comes from loving and accepting others, keeping quiet instead of deciding to say something negative. It comes from never giving up or being afraid of doing good to others. It is all biblical principles.
Your heart for God should be the attraction and the fragrance of Him that you leave behind, not the mask or petals you have on.
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honour her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.