Posts Tagged With: waiting

Friendship Blooming Like a Rose

Today I had coffee with Liela…my special friend. We went to Tribeccas on our University Campus. As always, our coffee date didn’t disappoint. I haven’t seen her in a month so doing some catch up time like this is a whole session of DMCs. Anyway, it was great chatting and catching up.

Campus is extremely peaceful this time of year with exams and all, and so beautiful in the summer time with the trees and flowers, so our setting was perfect. 

Obviously, I got to chat to her sharing deep stories and where I am at now. As soon as exams are done, it will be a more peaceful time for her to spend with Yvotte, which I am extremely happy about. And at the same time, I am busy moving into a more peaceful season in my life now. We spoke for ages about what is happening in our lives and what we’re doing next year. I am so grateful to have her around and to say we will still be in Pretoria together next year. We spoke about seasons changing…hers has changed as Yvotte is part of her life now and she has new things on the horizons. Like me, she has also left TMC and isn’t going to the LIV outreach either. Both of us are moving into seasons where we can say a lot is behind us and we’re walking on into new phases. New chapters are waiting to be written and it is things we have prayed for all year and now it is finally coming together. We both feel like we don’t need to be on TMC (the Tuks Missions Committee) as we have served our time there, and for some people it has just become a status thing, so we’re ready to move on. She also said she just doesn’t feel like God is calling her to go to LIV this year and I can honestly say the same. The only reason I might visit is to see Tich, his wife, the mothers of the village & kids for a day or two and catch up with them as I did earlier in the year and then visit Freddy and them who are finishing matric now. I also spoke about my studies and that I’m moving out of Intentional Living this year. It was one amazing year but I’m glad to be  moving out. This year has been one of the toughest that I’ve seen in all 3 of the years at Intentional Living… Lots has happened and I am ready for a more peaceful season, I too am moving into different relationships, studying phases and strengthening friendships with people like Liela. So we are both at a place where we are moving into special, peaceful seasons that we have been waiting and praying for and now they have come and we are ready for them. 

We’re kind of ready to move on from old things into the new, making new memories. Living positively and just enjoying being alive. 

That being said we also spoke about and discussed our surf trip we would have had this December. Between exams and all that has happened it has been a little rough and has bought plans to a halt. So we have decided to postpone the trip which is a blessing and we’re both really at peace about. It helps because if we wait, we’ll possibly get place to stay for free. We’ll be able to plan really well and only have to worry about petrol and food and have time to save up. So all in all, postponing has been just as much of a blessing. We still need to round up people and friends for this trip and we’ve decided we’d like to do it over Easter in April next year. So I’m really excited as that keeps God in the midst of things and makes the trip a little more special than it would normally be. 

Getting together with Liela doesn’t always happen as often especially with how hectic this year has been so we’re hoping to make the most of the last couple of weeks that I’m in Pretoria before heading home to the coast and then next year. So in this time, she’ll be sending her exam roster so that we can make a time to hit that old bucket list of ours. We’re hoping to have a little sleepover at her house, watch some movies on our bucket list and do a few other activities from our bucket list. So I can’t wait for that either.

Lastly, about this special friend of mine. She has so much love and wisdom in her and it always shines brightly through her. I can share anything with her, we do the craziest things together and we’re both very passionate people. Our friendship is such a pure one that I cherish so much. So, today, as I headed out to see her, I found a rose in the garden and picked it up for Liela. I was just reminded by God through the rose, of how special and delicate our friendship is and how much it is like a white rose. Pure, and beautiful, leaving the aroma of God and His Love behind. There is nothing more beautiful than a rose blooming in the Summer time, and such is our friendship.

Categories: Pursuing Faith, Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Beautiful or sexy?

With my 21st coming up and my sister and family who had planned a party for me, I seemed to struggle with making a choice of what to wear. This sounds like a dumb issue to have but it really goes a lot further than what you may be thinking. How you dress often is a bigger or deeper issue concerning identity. Not only that, it is one that shows how people see you and how you see yourself. So I had two options, sexy or beautiful.

I have had a hectic past and in it lots of guys liked my body, often more than me. Please don’t take this as me bragging, I’m just trying to state how it was to get my story across. I did dress like I was sexy, but lots of times I didn’t but guys still seemed to see my body as a sort of sex symbol. I was molested as a child and had faced rape throughout my life a couple of times. A lot of these issues that hadn’t been dealt with did lead to terrible things and me being used by guys. I never had sex with anyone but could just as well have. Guys often older than me, asked for pictures and stupid things like that and to me it really was off-putting but I never let anyone know that. At varsity though, God took me through months and months of proving to me that I could be more than just some ‘sex symbol’ or piece of ‘meat’ and went through a daily process of proving to me that He sees me as beautiful despite all that has happened to me and that I truly am beautiful.

A lot of time though, as a girl or a woman, we go through stages of wanting to be sexy and other times beautiful. To me there should be a balance of both instead of a constant imbalance, where we’re always leaning towards the sexy side. Guys always want us to be sexy, but the right guy would want you to be beautiful and he will make you feel that way naturally. Not only beautiful through looks, but by focusing that same ‘beautiful’ in your character. With choosing beautiful over sexy though, you do risk a lot of guys falling away, but I truly believe and can say from experience – it is so worth it. The guys who fall away when you stop trying to be sexy and choose beautiful instead, were never there because of your character and looks, they were only there for the looks and what they could get out of it. But don’t get me wrong, dressing sexy every now and then isn’t wrong, it is fun and part of being women, but it shouldn’t be the only thing we focus on because there is so much more to us than just that.

I have had to make the choice daily between sexy and beautiful and I have chosen beautiful. Not only because God thinks I am, but because I want to be known that way, I want to take someone’s breath away, not just through my looks but through my character. I have chosen that daily, and instead of dressing sexy this past weekend, at my 21st, I chose a beautiful dress and honestly, it proved this point so well. I chose a dress, instead of a few of my other outfits and suddenly a guy who’d been interested chose the girls who dressed a little sexier over me and it was fine, because I wasn’t up for his games or him only being into my looks. There’s more to me than that.

I have chosen daily to be beautiful rather than sexy, because I didn’t want to be who I used to be and I am sick of being used the way I was. I have chosen to stand up for myself and chosen beautiful. I really hope for some of the girls out there, you could try this. Because you are extremely beautiful and there really is more to each of you than just your bodies. Not only that, but waiting for the guy with morals who thinks you are beautiful and not sexy, is worth it and only he should be treated to ever seeing the ‘sexy’ side of you.

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