Posts Tagged With: deflowered

Sex & the Seal of Marriage…continued

flowersAfter my previous post on sex and the seal of marriage, there are a few things I’d like to say. I know how I felt when I was a virgin…I felt worthy and like I deserved a virgin for a husband… But after that, after being ‘deflowered’ by a guy whom I thought loved me and we’d end up together…when that all came crashing down and I was left alone… I felt dirty and ashamed and stupid and not worthy of anything. My worth had gone from worthy to worthless in about a few seconds. I felt like I wouldn’t ever be accepted or loved and would not ever deserve anything amazing, good or beautiful and that broke my heart and tore me apart…Guess that’s what Satan enjoys doing…

Anyway, as I said before, God calls us to “save ourselves” for the person we marry and to not get involved physically with another man before that.  It is something precious, sacred, and a seal for the covenant of marriage.  I believe that God asks us to wait for our benefit.  Not to keep us from something amazing, but to keep us from heartache and pain and any sort of destruction.

So before – when I was still a virgin – I had remained pure for the sake of the covenant and in doing so I felt entitled to finding someone who had done the same. In my mind I came to expect and think that I deserved someone who had saved himself for me.  However, I now feel it was wrong of me to think in this way. I’m not saying it was wrong to desire that or for someone to desire that, I think that is something God desires for us too.  However, when we come to find ourselves not just desiring, but deserving and feeling entitled to such a thing that’s when a little flag should be raised. I mean it is only by the grace of God that you have not found yourself giving into sexual sin. We are all sinners and we all make mistakes. Any good that we do and any obedience that we have done, is by God’s grace and mercy, therefore we deserve nothing and we are entitled to nothing. God told Hosea to marry a prostitute and I honestly don’t think that is what he desired most. But it was through their relationship that God showed His redemption and mercy. You (and I) are called to forgive and called to love. And most importantly you are called to humble ourselves with gratitude that God has protected you from falling into sexual immorality before marriage. It is by God’s grace alone.

After that, I unfortunately did fall into sexual sin and I wish I hadn’t. Since then, I have gone through many motions of self-pity and doubt and just feeling unworthy but I had to come to the realization that it wasn’t too late. So for those of you who have already given into sexual sin, it is NOT too late. You have not ruined your chances to marry a godly man who honours and lives for the Lord. You can repent and in all honesty your slate will be wiped clean. There will be no speck of it anywhere in your record.  And there is that beautiful thing about forgiveness, those who have been forgiven much, love much. There are amazing men out there who will look at you only as God looks at you – clean, without blemish, a bride to be won. Run to the feet of Jesus because He makes it all possible.raindance

I, myself have a friend who gave herself to a man before she was married. Through growing in her relationship with the Lord she found that what she had been doing was wrong. Through tears of remorse she fell down at the feet of Jesus and repented only to find that she was forgiven immensely and she was made new. A few years later she met the man she was going to marry. He was the worship leader at his church, God honouring, good looking, and an amazing man full of life. She felt like she didn’t deserve him. But when he had heard of her past and saw the woman she was now, he wept with her and forgave her and gladly with all his heart married her. Sex under the covenant was as if it was the first time. He loved her like Christ loved the church. And you can experience that as well. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, instead of wallowing in shame and despair – the way I did for quite a long time – look to God, see His forgiveness, and believe that He makes you new. A godly marriage is possible for you, and for each one of us because of the amazing love and grace of Him who loves us most.

So remember it’s all by grace…

Categories: Pursuing Hope, Pursuing Life, Pursuing Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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