With my 21st coming up and my sister and family who had planned a party for me, I seemed to struggle with making a choice of what to wear. This sounds like a dumb issue to have but it really goes a lot further than what you may be thinking. How you dress often is a bigger or deeper issue concerning identity. Not only that, it is one that shows how people see you and how you see yourself. So I had two options, sexy or beautiful.
I have had a hectic past and in it lots of guys liked my body, often more than me. Please don’t take this as me bragging, I’m just trying to state how it was to get my story across. I did dress like I was sexy, but lots of times I didn’t but guys still seemed to see my body as a sort of sex symbol. I was molested as a child and had faced rape throughout my life a couple of times. A lot of these issues that hadn’t been dealt with did lead to terrible things and me being used by guys. I never had sex with anyone but could just as well have. Guys often older than me, asked for pictures and stupid things like that and to me it really was off-putting but I never let anyone know that. At varsity though, God took me through months and months of proving to me that I could be more than just some ‘sex symbol’ or piece of ‘meat’ and went through a daily process of proving to me that He sees me as beautiful despite all that has happened to me and that I truly am beautiful.
A lot of time though, as a girl or a woman, we go through stages of wanting to be sexy and other times beautiful. To me there should be a balance of both instead of a constant imbalance, where we’re always leaning towards the sexy side. Guys always want us to be sexy, but the right guy would want you to be beautiful and he will make you feel that way naturally. Not only beautiful through looks, but by focusing that same ‘beautiful’ in your character. With choosing beautiful over sexy though, you do risk a lot of guys falling away, but I truly believe and can say from experience – it is so worth it. The guys who fall away when you stop trying to be sexy and choose beautiful instead, were never there because of your character and looks, they were only there for the looks and what they could get out of it. But don’t get me wrong, dressing sexy every now and then isn’t wrong, it is fun and part of being women, but it shouldn’t be the only thing we focus on because there is so much more to us than just that.
I have had to make the choice daily between sexy and beautiful and I have chosen beautiful. Not only because God thinks I am, but because I want to be known that way, I want to take someone’s breath away, not just through my looks but through my character. I have chosen that daily, and instead of dressing sexy this past weekend, at my 21st, I chose a beautiful dress and honestly, it proved this point so well. I chose a dress, instead of a few of my other outfits and suddenly a guy who’d been interested chose the girls who dressed a little sexier over me and it was fine, because I wasn’t up for his games or him only being into my looks. There’s more to me than that.
I have chosen daily to be beautiful rather than sexy, because I didn’t want to be who I used to be and I am sick of being used the way I was. I have chosen to stand up for myself and chosen beautiful. I really hope for some of the girls out there, you could try this. Because you are extremely beautiful and there really is more to each of you than just your bodies. Not only that, but waiting for the guy with morals who thinks you are beautiful and not sexy, is worth it and only he should be treated to ever seeing the ‘sexy’ side of you.